At the “Blind Bet” stand-up show at The Pony Inn, David Drake is trying out new jokes: “I’m covered in hair,” says Drake. “I’ve got this thing called the creep,” he says pointing to the body hair just below his beard and just above his chest hair. “If it goes unchecked it likes to creep up and connect with the beard and then it’s just a highway for crumbs to move freely about the body. It makes you never want to be naked again.” The joke is part of a larger story about high school hierarchy and the shame-based world occupied by teenagers. Drake should keep working on this material; it’s promising.
Nigel Ng, meanwhile, is having a blast poking fun at his Malaysian heritage. “I remember the first time ordering a burger in America — that was four years ago,” he says. “I didn’t know you could get a patty done according to how well you wanted it done. The waitress came up to me and said, ‘How would you like your burger done,’ and I said, ‘to the best of your ability.'”
I’m not sure how much the room appreciates that L.A.-based comic Camilla Cleese (as in the daughter of comedy icon John Cleese) is here telling jokes tonight — but it’s a nice surprise. “I’m six foot one,” says Cleese. “I love being tall but it’s frustrating because my friends are short which means I can never wear high heels when we go out because if I do I can’t hear them.” I suspect that joke lands better when there are tall women in the room. “I also assume certain responsibilities as the tall one,” says Cleese, “like I’m the designated meeting point.”
Finally, there is headliner Drew Frees who never gives less than 100 percent energy onstage and whose strongest material is arguably when he compares the popularity of Michael Jordan to that of Jesus Christ. “Jesus walked on water, but Jordan can fly,” says Frees. “Jesus rose again, but Jordan came back to win three more championships and returned again as a Wizard.” And finally, “People say ‘I will kill for Jesus’ but people will also kill for Jordans.”
The premise of “Blind Bet” is that the headliner is a secret until showtime. In truth, this is a lax rule and he or she typically is announced on Facebook that week. But it does inspire me to hit up a couple more shows without first checking the lineup. I’m a big believer that good stand-ups cultivate a voice that audiences will go out of their ways to see.
“George W. Bush is a war criminal and now he’s a painter,” says Sam Deeran, host of “This Week’s Show” in Wrigleyville. “He’s gone from being a failed dictator to a successful artist. … He pulled it off folks, the reverse Hitler.”
“This Week’s Show” is a basement showcase and its producers have made it a great room for comedy. It resembles an intimate cabaret from the ’60s. “I have a dad and he’s had dentures since he was 19,” says comic Jeff Scheen, who is great tonight. “He was telling me a story about how he got really drunk and threw up outside of a window and his teeth went with. He had a date the next night and he still went on the date, borrowing his mother’s dentures. I hope that on that date she said, ‘you have a beautiful smile’ and my dad said ‘thanks, I got it from my mother.”
Reena Calm is also terrific. “You know that term butter face, right?” asks Calm. “I’m more of a butter body. It just looks like I love butter. I don’t love it like Paula Deen. I don’t go to bed encased in a shell of butter and then crawl out the next morning shouting the ‘N’ word.”
But the real find this week is “Snack Attack,” where the warm up to the headliner — at least at this inaugural show — is not a comic but heaps of bacon being passed around for the crowd to enjoy. “Snack Attack” is an intimate new showcase happening monthly at Lakeview’s Elbo Room.
“I was hanging out with my nephew at a bar and he had his first beer, we did that together,” says an avuncular Timmy Brochu who is our host tonight. “I took him out to get a tattoo. I got him some good weed, that’s just what a cool uncle does. But every year it gets harder and harder. Like this year, what do I get him for this 13th birthday?”
Comedian Bill Gevirtz is cranking out sly one-liners like he’s wielding a machine gun full of them. “The worst birthday present I ever got was from my mom,” says Gevirtz. “It was the gift of life. Don’t worry, I’m returning it tomorrow.” (It takes a moment for that one to fully sink in.) Then there’s this one: “Ever see the bumper sticker Jesus is my co-pilot,” he says. “Um, Christ is almighty and powerful. Maybe he should be the pilot.”
Prateek Srivastava has a few good jokes on him tonight: “I was reading this article about top 10 bad-boy actors of all time,” says Srivastava. “[It said] the No. 1 bad-boy actor of all time was Sean Penn. He punched out some paparazzi, he dated Madonna, but is he the bad boy actor of all time? The answer is no. The original bad boy actor of all time was John Wilkes Booth. I know that Sean Penn is super liberal and hates Republicans, but do you know how much John Wilkes Booth hated Republicans?”
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Bacon and jokes on a bone-chilling November night? That is just one of many blind bets in the local comedy scene worth taking.