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player ready...As mothers, we are all guilty of comparing ourselves to the other moms who cross our paths. Whether these women are our best friends or just a random mother at the store, we feel the need to keep a metal tally on who is doing a better job.
Dr. Cathy Subber, co-founder and sponsor of Naperville Moms Network, has found that to be true for the women in her group.
“Guilt is a reoccurring theme among mothers,” says Subber, who has two sons. “They think everyone is doing it right and what they are doing is wrong.”
Naperville Moms Network was started five years ago by Subber and Kelly Thompson, a woman who was new to Naperville and expecting her first child. She contacted Subber, looking for a sponsor for the group, which would serve as a place for area mothers to connect and support each other.
The group grew quickly, and by their first anniversary, membership was near 1,000. About that same time, Thompson’s family was transferred out of state, and Subber became the primary leader of the group. Today, membership fluctuates near 3,400 local women whose mission is to support and empower moms.
Subber, who owns a chiropractic practice in Naperville, feels Naperville Moms Network’s mission is important and continues to look for a way to share it with other moms. While brainstorming with massage therapist and doula Nicki Worden, they came up with a creative way to enforce that message.
Using the talents of photographer Terri Roper, the trio will feature, “A Journey of Motherhood.” This gallery of photographs will capture the reality of a mother’s daily life, not the posed Christmas-card picture she sends to family and friends.
The idea came from a photographic project that showed the beauty of a woman’s body after childbirth.
“We hope our project breaks down the stereotypes of mothers and gets rid of judgment of ourselves and others,” says Worden who is expecting her fourth child.
The project will showcase 50 women whose journey of motherhood differs by their choices, cultures and circumstances that gave them the title “mother.”
“We all have different stories, but the common core is that we all want to do our best,” says Roper, who has a teenage son.
To find the candidates, Subber put the word out to Naperville Moms Network members and got an amazing response. The applicants include biological mothers and mothers who adopted their children, working moms and those that stay at home, surrogate mothers who are helping to fulfill another mom’s dreams, mothers who struggled with fertility and mothers who have suffered the loss of their child.
Subber offered to be one of the first women photographed for the project. Part of the application asks the mothers to list their strengths and weaknesses. In the spirit of the project, busy mom Subber was captured in the midst of her reality, her disorderly car.
“When people ask me how I do all that I do, I tell them ‘If you see my car, you know that I don’t do everything well,'” she says.
“A Journey of Motherhood” might take six to 12 months to complete says Roper, who will select the candidates with the help of Subber and Worden. When completed, the photographic compilation will be revealed in a large art gallery piece at Café N Play in Naperville.
“After that we are not sure where it will go,” says Subber who is open to a book or traveling display.
Despite the growth potential of this project, the three women hope “A Journey of Mother” will help others embrace their own choices as a mother.
“We want to showcase, through photography, the reality of motherhood opposed to what you see in the magazines and on TV,” Subber says. “You are a great mom, even if you think you are screwing it up.”