America, take a seat. This is an intervention. Your obsession with pumpkin-flavored foodstuffs has become a problem. It began with a Starbucks latte, then it spread to a doughnut, and next thing you know you’re slathering it on a ham sandwich. So here’s the deal. You get to go out and enjoy your pumpkin-spiced whatever one last time this year. Then no more — at least for another 11 months.
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Dairy Queen’s Pumpkin Pie Blizzard Treat
Ad copy: “Pumpkin pie pieces blended in creamy vanilla soft serve crowned with whipped topping and nutmeg.”
Our take: My kind of dessert. Not too sweet, with a light salted undertone. Bits of soft serve-moistened crunchy pie crust is the most alluring part. Smooth, a light head of nutmeg.
Nutritional info: 740 calories, 26 g fat, 87 g sugar (medium size)
McGrade: B+
Corner Bakery’s Pumpkin Frappe
Ad copy: “Available in Caramel, Mocha, Vanilla, NEW Salted Caramel, and NEW Pumpkin.”
Our take: More of a creamy frozen blended consistency. First thing you taste is the dairy richness of cream. Still, an oversweetness that hits the back of your throat. You get a mellow pumpkin spice on the back end, but intense sweetness is hard to overcome.
Nutritional info: None available for pumpkin frappe, but a similar 16-ounce caramel frappe with whipped cream has 470 calories, 10 g fat, 66 g sugar
McGrade: C-
Dunkin’ Donuts’ Pumpkin Creme Brulee Iced Latte
Ad copy: “Between its rich flavor and cool refreshment, our Iced Latte is simply irresistible. Made from 100% Fair Trade Certified espresso beans, we make it easy to enjoy an Iced Latte at Dunkin’.”
Our take: I only hope the drink-maker screwed up the order, because anything this molar-dissolving sweet should not be consumed. There are three layers of taste: Mostly cream, then a layer of coffee and, if you struggle hard enough, you might discern the pumpkin.
Nutritional info: 350 calories, 9 g fat, 53 g sugar (medium size, whole milk)
McGrade: D-
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