“Be it your drink of choice or your last resort, the results are the same if you’re drinking Malort.”
It makes sense that Chicago band Archie Powell and the Exports would pen such poetry about a bitter drink, considering a few members are bartenders.
The band’s “The Malort Song (A Waltz for Old Jeppson)” is also accompanied by a “heartwarming” video, according to RedEye nightlife writer Kate Bernot, which features a host of local cameos including Doug Sohn, owner of recently closed Hot Doug’s, and Pat Gabelick, owner of Jeppson’s.
The music video debuted Thursday night at Chop Shop in Wicker Park during the first screening of the Malort documentary “This Story Will Never End.”
The full lyrics are below. Study up. This is going to be a closing time anthem for a while.
I’ll buy a Jeppson’s for everyone here at the bar
and a Jeppson’s for you and for me
Because whether you like it or think it bizarre
has got nothing to do with the deed.
Welcome to town we’re so glad that you came
in Chicago you don’t need a car
So we’ll get you real trashed if it’s all just the same
drink our poison at every new bar.
Well we’re out for sleaze and adventure my friend
check your dignity back at the door
Cause the hooch that we drink is just means to an end
call for deep dish and sleep on my floor.
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I’ll buy a Jeppson’s for everyone here at the bar
and a Jeppson’s for you and for me
because whether you like it or think it bizarre
has got nothing to do with the deed.
The museum’s expensive, the lake is too cold
and the Bean is for tourists and rubes
But our local spirit’s a sight to behold
so let’s flush our whole night down the tubes.
Let’s skip the Sears Tower, i’m still scared of heights
and i guess it’s called Willis by now
We’ll stay out till four and we’ll get into fights
with a bottle to show you just how.
Be it your drug of choice or a big last resort
the results are the same if you’re drinking Malort.
I’ll buy a Jeppson’s for everyone here at the bar
and a Jeppson’s for you and for me
Because whether you like it or think it bizarre
has got nothing to do with the deed.
Your Jeppson’s is here people, don’t be distraught
just go on, hold your nose, 1-2-3.
Because whether you’d drink it on purpose or not
has got no fucking business with me.
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