Part of my job is trying to understand the internet, and part of that is knowing Rule 34.
Rule 34 of the internet is that if something exists, so does its NSFW (re: porn) counterpart. Not kidding. It’s a thing.
I decided to give Rule 34 a test Tuesday—as I do every so often. After writing about the forthcoming “Tetris” movie announced yesterday, I started to think about possible storylines. Basically, the sex scenes.
Producers have to get inspiration somewhere, right? Could images and .GIFs of “tetris sex” already exist? They could, and of course they do. Here’s the best of them.
WARNING: NSFW depictions of pixelated brick sex ahead.
Yes, this Tetris coitus* is probably photoshopped. But just think about that. Someone spent time in a computer program used by professional photographers to make this. We certainly are the greatest generation.
This picture will tell you if your mind is dirty or not. Simple photo of four Tetris bricks? Or total block orgy?
Tetris sex even exists outside the Internet—as a prophylactic.
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Look, I can’t, in good conscience, link to the original source here. If you click the link, it will take you to the sub-Reddit for puppies and kittens. But here it is, Tetris sex positions. I am going to get fired.
>>Rule 34: “Hardcore Tetris Orgy”
Someone spent hours making this. I’m going home.
*Editor’s note: I assigned this story. I have two master’s degrees. I’m an editor at the Tribune Publishing Company. I know how to code. But I didn’t know the definition of the word coitus. The newsroom is already shaming me on Twitter. You probably should, too. @monroeschultz
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