It’s Packers week, and I’m marking it down as a “win.”
A bold move, but we’re there. It’s not that the Bears are great, it’s that the Packers are not.
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The Bears, if they were a car, I would have them solidly in “Buick” territory. They’re more than a Chevrolet, not quite up there with the Cadillac.
Buicks make the playoffs, however, so it’s fine for now.
It’s a beat-up Buick, however. I think the football gods don’t like Chris Conte. Every time he steps on the field, something gets strained, sprained or separated. Conte, you’re a safety. You’re the one who’s supposed to do the hitting.
I don’t even know who’s left back there. My god, Kyle Fuller is the most senior member at this point!
Get used to Danny McCray and Ahmad Dixon as your safeties. Chicago is quickly becoming the Second City. Second as in “He was with Minnesota (or Dallas) first, then Chicago second.”
I don’t care. Next man up. If you can play, you can play. My ideas so far are: 1) Signing Mike Brown out of retirement 2) Signing Gary Fencik out of retirement 3) Signing Chris Harris out of retirement.
My physical would be simple: Can you walk? You can! Great. You’re cleared to play!
I’d also like to pass judgment on Shea Mclellin, but darn it! He’s out again too!
One small request of the Bears. Marc Trestman, can you find us some sort of a running game to work with? It’s Week 4 and there’s a whole section of the playbook we haven’t touched. It starts on page 662 and it’s the section marked “running plays.”
Sadder than the Bears secondary, we finally and officially say goodbye to Paul Konerko this weekend—his final games as a White Sox player.
If there has ever been a quieter, more humble, more professional baseball player on either side of town, I’d like to meet him. Ryne Sandberg, maybe. But Paulie won a World Series. Sorry, Cubs fans.
He will be missed in so any ways, but like all loyal members of the Sox, we’ll see him out there again in some way.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.