.captions{margin-top:-.6% !important; font-size:.75em;}
.introText{font-size:1.3em; line-height:150%;}
.bodyText{font-size:1.3em; line-height:150%;}
.subHead{margin-top:5% !important;}
Look at Jane Lynch, all fancy. The “Glee” star had committed to voice the titular feline in Lifetime’s “Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever,” when all of a sudden she won an Emmy for hosting “Hollywood Game Night.” Now she’s all “Ooooo, sorry, I just can’t, gotta get my nails done” (a completely falsified paraphrasing), thr.com reports.
Guys, you know that your mom is JUST NOW finding out about Grumpy Cat, and you’re going to be forced to watch this when you go home for the holidays. Let us help ease your suffering with some decent suggestions for a Lynch replacement.
Gilbert Gottfried
Getty Images
Your mom’s reaction: “Wait a minute, this sounds familiar. Isn’t this the guy from the Aflac commercials? Why does he look like a cat?”
Your response: “MOM, it’s Iago from ‘Aladdin,’ GOD. Actually, can we watch that later?”
Lisa Kudrow
Getty Images
Your mom’s reaction: “Aw, Smelly Cat. It’s still not your fault.”
Your response: *Realize that you know all the words to that song even though “Friends” started 20 years ago.*
Miley Cyrus
Getty Images
Your mom’s reaction: “Has this cat been smoking cigarettes?”
Your response: “Nope, just a giant gravity bong. No, I’m not going to explain what that is.”
The cat herself
Getty Images
Your mom’s reaction: “What’s that, Grumpy Cat? Timmy? In the well? Do you want a kitty-cat treat?”
More Top Picks Best Tablets For Seniors With Low Vision
Your response: “Thank God.”
Tom Hardy as Bane
Getty Images
Your mom’s reaction: “Did they check this cat for hairballs before reading this script? She sounds TERRIBLE.”
Your response: “Why the hell didn’t they go with Catwoman? Duh!”
Jenny Slate
Getty Images
Your mom’s reaction: “Well, this cat just has the most precious voice ever. Sure knows a lot about women’s anatomy though …”
Your response: *Change the channel to “Aladdin” on ABC Family.*
Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye’s Facebook page.