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It’s the simple things in life, right?
Starbucks is purportedly testing a mini frappuccino, prompting us to take a moment and think about all the good things that come in small packages.
Miniature-sized desserts, drinks and trinkets make everything cuter, more compact and completely (un)necessary. Here we present some glorious small-sized goodies, from Chicago and beyond, we already have, plus the ones we need right now.
1. HAVE: Gourmet mini doughnuts
Flat tire fixed… We're on 58th & Ellis until 2:45… Happy Wednesday pic.twitter.com/I89uvshivN
— Beavers Donuts (@BeaversDonuts) September 3, 2014
Why didn’t we know about it before? Street-side gem Beavers Donuts bills itself as Chicago’s “first and only food truck” serving up mini donuts, with delectable toppings ranging from a Reese’s chocolate-peanut butter dream to a fruity ‘Strawberry Bella.’ Check the website or @BeaversDonuts on Twitter for upcoming locations.
2. WANT: Mini Willis Tower
The LEGO Shop retired its Willis Tower kit—devastating for Chicago children (and adults) everywhere. Luckily, Ebay has plenty to spare, starting in the $30 price range. For the kids…just the kids.
3. WANT: Mini alcohol bottles
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Did you know they’re illegal within the Chicago city limits? The college drinking staples can’t be found around these parts. You’ll have to go to the ‘burbs to make your movie theater cola a little more tasty.
4. HAVE: Mini pumpkins
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How the F*!$ do we carve these heinous little pumpkins? They sit on the table for a month, undecorated, adding lackluster orange-colored splendor. Problem solver: dessert. The high-maintenance option is Martha Stewart’s perfectly titled candied jack-be-little pumpkin recipe (because, Martha). Don’t trust yourself to pull off Martha’s, ummm, glory? Try making a mini-pumpkin apple crisp. Grandma will be so proud.
5. WANT: Starbucks mini Frappuccino
Adorable, just adorable, Starbucks. This hot little thang passed a San Diego test-drive and is now available in Houston and Denver. Fewer calories, that cuteness factor, the seemingly perfect size for young children to get hooked on fancy caffeinated drinks? Yeah, we’re in.
6. WANT: Pigs-in-a-Blanket at Cubs games
Cubbies, we’re talkin’ to you. Give us mini hot dogs in lieu of the classic, artery-clogging grease fest of a hot dog that is standard tradition. Won’t the little kids love them too?
7. HAVE: Mini Chicago flags
Spirit, so much spirit. Put these on your desk, in your hat, in your flower pots, behind your ear. So incredibly versatile.
8. WANT: Mini CTA gingerbread village
Toy CTA trains are actually a thing. So at Navy Pier’s Winter WonderFest this year, dear Santa, won’t you give us something a bit more edible? A mini gingerbread CTA train through a Chicagoland gingerbread village. Because, yum.
9. HAVE: Mini mace spray
For those late-night walks home from the bar, yes? Even better: This sassy hot pink mini pepper spray for stylishly cautious Chicago bar hopping.
10. HAVE: Mini bobble heads
No, really, we HAVE these. Seriously, there hasn’t been a professional athlete in Chicago in the past 10 years that doesn’t have a miniature plastic bobbing version of themselves. We love the little guys, but maybe it’s time to move on to a new promotional giveaway?
11. WANT: Mini Hot Doug’s
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Yes, the Avondale encased meat mainstay is about to call it quits. So there’s no better time than now to innovate a little, right? If you’ve ever seen the size of Doug’s dogs, you know how hard it is to eat more than, like, two in one sitting. Let’s miniaturize the menu for the last half-month of business. Maybe the line will move quicker?
12. HAVE: Mini beers
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Corona. Bud Light. Too often, bars sucker patrons in with ‘$3 beer special!’ signs, only to pull the rug out from under thirsty customers with 7 oz. bottles that, while adorable, are an absolute abomination. Seriously, we’re the City of Big Shoulders, the smallest bottle we should tolerate is a 12 oz.
13. WANT: Mini CTA garbage and recycling bins
Seriously, we could use this yesterday. How many times has a sad empty Coke can or water bottle rolled up and down the aisle and damn near tripped someone? Stick a little bin near every bus driver, or put a few every other train car, and the whole public transit system will be less of a mess.
14. WANT: Mini winter
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Do we even have to explain this one? If you need a refresher course, just look here.
15. HAVE: Mini water bottles
Are these really necessary unless you’re in pre-school? Seriously, how much will these quench your thirst? Like, an inch.