Do you remember how excited you were the first time your dad let you use the lawnmower?
It was a big moment for me. My desire to make tall grass short began early in life. It has never waned.
Nothing gets the endorphins going like striking precise rows of perfectly groomed, thick, green grass. You stand in the driveway, chin up, arms folded across your chest, proudly admiring your domicile groomsmanship: “That’s my yard, Mister.”
That’s why White Sox groundskeeper Roger Bossard is a bit of a hero to me. I can’t wait to get my hands on one of those Bossard bobbleheads, once the keepsakes arrive at U.S. Cellular Field.
Sunday’s game against Oakland was designated as Bossard bobblehead day, but the Sox were forced to move the celebration to Sept. 13 after the manufacturer reportedly bobbled the spelling.
How ironic. “The Sodfather,” a moniker brilliantly slapped on Bossard by ESPN radio host John Jurkovic several years ago, has spent his life ensuring that all seasons and all games start on time for the White Sox.
Chicago winter? No problem. Pristine by April 1.
An afternoon monsoon? Bossard will have the field ready to go as scheduled at 7:10.
It’s a Bossard field with the revolutionary Bossard-designed drainage system. He’s regarded as the best at what he does and more than half the clubs in baseball have sought his expertise.
Bossard, 61, is this millennium’s George Toma.
I bet it was fun being young Roger. Dad was Gene Bossard, who was the long-time White Sox groundskeeper. Grandpa Emil was a “sodsman” with the Indians.
It’s a rich lineage of dirt and grass impresarios.
Roger Bossard hitched his hose to the old man’s wagon and began his tenure with the White Sox in 1967. The lad wasn’t even old enough to vote and he was spraying down the infield sand and raking the batter’s box on 35th Street.
He didn’t just get to jump on a tractor as a youth. Young Bossard cut the outfield grass at Comiskey Park. He became the top dog in 1983. He’s been working like a dog since. Bossard’s face is weathered from decades spent working in the sun, but his fitness and energy levels exceed those of far more youthful men.
“I remember him at 17,” said former Sox slugger Bill Melton, an analyst at Comcast Sports Net. “He’s beloved by every guy who’s ever played for the White Sox and those who’ve played on his fields.”
Melton, whose career concluded before baseball contracts got silly, can’t refrain from taking a playful shot.
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“He’s at the top of his game. He’s ‘The Sodfather.’ He’s an international star. I think it’s great that he’s got bigger houses and better cars than the guys he services. That’s a deal,” Melton said.
I look forward to getting one of those Bossard bobbles come September. Got the perfect place for it: on the shelf with the gas can and four-cycle oil in my manly garage.
Dan McNeil hosts “The Danny Mac Show” weekdays from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. on WSCR-AM 670.