Who we are
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer. These terms are not identities in themselves, but threads that weave together a community as diverse as the city itself. These Chicagoans — artists and professionals, activists and police officers, parents and teenagers -— all have a different way of telling their stories, painting a portrait of who we are.
Jeff Yoder, 31, anesthesiologist Bought his first home, switched professions and came out to his family all in the past two years. “I’ve had some major life changes, besides coming out. That was a huge thing for me — I’m more of a confident person now. “Who you are and who you date defines you. I thought I never needed to share that with people. I kind of regret not coming out earlier. It is important for people to see where you’re coming from.”
Candice Hart, 60, vice chair of Illinois Gender Advocates, volunteer at Center on Halsted “A high percentage of transgendered people are unemployed. A large reason is birth certificates and legal names. You can imagine if you’re trying to apply for a job and you have changed your legal name and you have to talk about yourself in the past in another name or different reference, that poses some issues for some employers that say, ‘I can’t work with this.’ “
Cole Grover, 18, recent graduate of New Trier High School, starting freshman year at Loyola University “I’ve never been harassed or made fun of in my life. When I came out, I enjoyed myself. It was really nice to put the real me out there and have people be interested and ask questions. Everyone in my high school was extremely supportive and interested and curious.”
Tanya Lazaro, 35, a detective with the Chicago Police Department, and Liz Matos, 39, a support analyst, and their daughter, Jaiden Lazaro-Matos The couple petitioned the Chicago Police Credit Union for same-sex partners to be able to take out loans and changed the law. “As new mothers, we have found a lot of acceptance,” says Tanya. “The biggest thing for us is that by not hiding it, it’s not a secret so people don’t feel uncomfortable around us. We go to an aqua baby class full of mothers and fathers, and both of us just show up. Nothing is hidden, so people feel more comfortable.”
Vernita Gray 61, near left, GLBT liaison for Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office and longtime activist. She and her partner Pat EwErt, a non-profit development director, are both breast cancer survivors “When we first came out, we were excited just to walk down the street, hold hands and be openly gay,” says Vernita. “Then it was exciting to turn on the TV and open a magazine and see a gay person. Now, as we have matured and our revolution has reached 40 years, we want some real-deal things. It’s like, if you’re starving you want to go to McDonald’s, but once you have a more refined palate you want to go to Gibsons.” “The fight for same-sex marriage and benefits is very real to me because if something should happen to me, I want her to get the benefits of my hard work.” “My partner and I call ourselves the ‘ chemo couple.’ She is done with hers, but I’m still being treated.”
Ky Dickens, 32, director of “Fish out of Water,” a documentary that explores the relationship between homosexuality and the Bible “In the past 10 years, I’ve really turned away from the terms lesbian or gay and seen the greater community as the queer community. It includes straight allies, artists, bisexuals or anyone who can identify. It’s a more lively community because you’re not just surrounded by people just like you.”
Ethan White, 28, DJ and organizer at Chances Dances, a twice-monthly dance club and supporter of LGBTIQ artists “I like people that have different lifestyles. I don’t want to hang out with a monoculture that only validates how I feel about myself.” “Getting married becomes an increasing pressure. It becomes an imperative and a goal because that’s something queer people used to be against.”
Zach Haller, 26, immigration specialist at an immigration law firm, aerobics instructor “Boystown being right next to Wrigleyville is a really great statement to the diversity of Chicago. They have this post-college super-manly reputation, but there is a mutual respect between the groups.”
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Sabrina Smith, 18, recent graduate of Hyde Park High School. Now attending Kennedy King College “High school was a real challenge for me, and it got harder with all the attention after I came out.” “I lost a couple of friends when I told them I was lesbian. They thought I would come onto them. But your real friends will always be there for you no matter what you are like or who you like. Like my basketball team and all the girls I hoop with, they don’t criticize me.”
Bill McMurray, 37, baritone opera singer with Chicago Symphony Chorus this season “For black gay men, there’s a feeling of being shut out of the gay community as a whole. The black pride parade started because there was a feeling that the gay pride parade in Boystown was too white. Here we are in 2010 and, as a community, we are trying to all come together for issues like employment, marriage and adoption, but when it comes to celebrating as a community, we can’t even come together as that.”