There are those of us who, um, thrill to the vroom-vroom-vroom of the vacuum.
Sad but true, I consider it a therapeutic pastime. Race around the house with that magic wand sucking up all the errant hairs and dust balls, and you can soothe your psychic load with every vroom. I’d do it through the night — if only vacuums had silencers.
So imagine the glee when I found out four new whiz-bang hand-helds were on the market. I just had to run them through the drills. So off I went, schlepping them home and through a house filled with boys. Messy boys. And a long-haired cat, to boot.
Here’s how those darling little sucker-uppers stacked up.
Oreck Ultimate Handheld Vacuum
Schleppability: Okay, so this one’s a tad unwieldy. Never could connect the shoulder strap, so I carried it like a log under one arm. It’s bigger than the others, but lighter than it looks.
Range of motion: This one must be plugged in, but the cord is plenty long. You can wrap that cord round the bottom of the canister (where nifty hooks make it a cinch), so you won’t get tangled while you work.
Cheerio challenge: One-quarter cup of itty-bitty Os, half crumbled, half not: Sucked ‘em right up. Not a speck left behind.
Stair climber: Loved the way the sleek brush attachment crept into the wedgy place where the riser meets the step. Plenty of cord to make it to the top. Stairs were spotless.
Footnote: Oreck is known to be a powerhouse, and this didn’t disappoint. Comes with so many attachments (eight!), that it nearly made my head spin. Even has hypo-allergenic filtration, a nifty extra for those of us with kids who wheeze. And the 5-foot suction hose took us to plenty of high (and low) places.
Price: $249 at oreck.com
Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Corded Hand Vacuum
Schleppability: Easy peasy.
Range of motion: Comes with a cord, but it didn’t pose a problem. Plenty long to get to where any pet would dare to shed. And there’s a nifty Velcro strap so you can wrap up the cord and tuck it neatly where you store your loved objects.
Cheerio challenge: Problem here is that it’s such a mighty little sucker-upper, near gusts of wind blew out the side air vents and whirled away the little Os that weren’t smack-dab in the path of the sucking orifice. Makes you wanna pull your hair out.
Stair climber: Got the job done. Especially on carpet.
Footnote: For the pet-hair-sucking powers alone, this one’s dear to our hearts. Hands down, it beats those sticky rolls that until now have been the only weapon out there in the pet-hair department.
Price: $34.99 at bissell.com
Dirt Devil Gator 10.8V Cordless Hand Vacuum
Schleppability: Could not be easier.
Range of motion: No cord, thus no tangles. Beware, otherwise-impossible-to-reach nooks and crannies. (You’ll need to plug back in for recharging, but this devil stores up enough juice to make it through a 3-story house. And then some.)
More Top Picks Best Noise Canceling Headphones For Migraines
Cheerio challenge: Not an O left in its wake.
Stair climber: I zipped right up every step. Totally effective.
Footnote: We found the devilish red downright adorable.
Price: $31.99 at dirtdevil.com
Dyson DC31
Schleppability: Goes wherever you so choose. No heavier than a lunchbox.
Range of motion: Pull out the charger plug, and you’ve got license to roam without a leash.
Cheerio challenge: Sucked ‘em right up.
Stair climber: The extra-long snout (see footnote) wiggled it way in between the spindles.
Footnote: When I first saw it, I mistook it for a power drill. Doesn’t look like any vacuum I’ve ever seen, but its extra-long snout pokes into all sorts of hard-to-reach spots.
Price: $219.99 at dyson.com