It takes a certain kind of man to pull off a pink tutu. It also takes a certain kind of man — or woman — to stomach two new movies featuring action heroes in family-friendly roles.
Dwayne “Don’t Call Me The Rock Anymore” Johnson falls into the aforementioned pink tutu category. The burly dude dons the ballet garb in “Tooth Fairy,” out next week, a movie that pretty much is what it sounds like.
The other role-reversal flick is “The Spy Next Door,” which opened this weekend and stars Jackie Chan as an undercover spy who has to baby-sit his fiancee’s three kids. Hijinks ensue.
If you have to see one of these far-fetched flicks — say, your young nieces are in town, or somebody puts a gun to your head — which star should it be? Let’s turn over that decision to a good ol’ RedEye faceoff.
COVER GIG
(X) CHAN: Boring pen salesman Bob Ho.
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JOHNSON: Pro hockey player Derek Thompson.
Winner: Chan, just because “Bob Ho” is an awesome name.
UNDERCOVER JOB
CHAN: Top-notch CIA agent.
(X) JOHNSON: Tooth Fairy. (Duh!)
Winner: Johnson. The spy thing is overdone.
FEMININE FACTOR
Chan: Feeds and dresses children.
(X) Johnson: Wears a pink tutu.
Winner: Johnson. We’re suckers for an easy sight gag.
HIDDEN BADASS MOVE
(X) Chan: Martial arts stunt sequences involving pots and pans.
Johnson: Pulls out the hockey pads to take no (tooth) prisoners.
Winner: Chan. He’s still got moves.
MOVIE TAG LINE
Chan: “Part spy. Part baby-sitter. All hero.”
(X) Johnson: “You can’t handle the tooth.”
Winner: Johnson. If you’re going for ridiculous, go all out.
OVERALL WINNER
Johnson — but we’re not sure if winning in this case isn’t actually losing.