Don’t lose hope, Sox fans. Even when your team isn’t playing well, die-hard fans lead with plenty of heart. Rain or shine, until the final bell, here are my tips to watching a game at the Cell:
– As fantasy baseball is a different term for the ladies: Scotty Pods and Jermaine Dye usually stretch at third base 15 minutes before game time.
– For the guys: You can watch soxybacks gawking over Scotty Pods stretching at third base 15 minutes before game time.
– Be a team player. High-five all the fans around you after a great play. It’s a Sox thing. Hand sanitizer optional.
– Be a playa playa! Little-known fact: The outfield concourse is the unofficial singles section of the Cell. Yes, female Cubs fans, we are accepting convert applications.
– Be an Ozzie … sort of. Feel free to vent your frustration on a bad call without the vulgarity, or, like Ozzie, an ejection is in your future.
– Concessions stands are magical at the Cell. If you believe it’s not fattening, then it isn’t. Counting calories at a baseball game is a North Side tradition anyway.
– Since we brought it up, throwing back the opposition’s homer — and the terms “Holy Cow” and “Woo Woo” — are traditions but not White Sox traditions.
– Remember that Sox fans represent the working class. We leave blowouts early only to ensure proper rest for the next work day.
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– Day games are a mixed blessing. For sun-bathers, the third-base line can be like sitting on a tropical-bay dock. For sun-haters, make sure you wear plenty of sun block.
– Think of those violators of baseball etiquette who wear Cubs jerseys to the Cell as a swarm of gnats. They get on your nerves, do no real harm and are gone by October.
– Finally, if you happen to notice a sock-laden superhero patrolling the stands, don’t stare in star-struck awe. He puts his socks on like the rest of us. Say hello, high-five and ask for a photo or an autograph. Bonus points awarded if you praise his RedEye articles. Soxman is a RedEye special contributor.