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Why is Alfonso Soriano leading off? What is Lou Piniella thinking?

A free-swinger like Soriano is not going to set the table with a lot of walks, but he’s a 40-homer guy when healthy, and pop like that makes him dangerous in the middle of the order. Come on, Lou.

Boy, it would be nice for the Cubs to get a jump on Roy Oswalt. He’s really tough with a lead.

What do you know, the first batter Oswalt faces takes him deep. Cubs lead 1-0, Cubs win 4-2.

The leadoff homer? Alfonso Soriano. That Lou Piniella is a genius, I tell you.

And I am an armchair manager — literally. With the White Sox … I don’t know, colded out? … the Cell was quiet on Opening Day, but thanks to the MLB Extra Innings package there was plenty of baseball to be seen from the comfort of the front room.

I felt like a kid again, only I didn’t need to conjure up a mysterious illness as an excuse to stay home and watch.

The Mets’ off-season commitment to a fortified bullpen paid Opening Day dividends as Sean Green, J.J. Putz and Francisco Rodriguez inherited a 2-1 lead from Johan Santana and preserved it for three-plus innings, spoiling the Reds’ home opener in Iditarod weather at Cincinnati.

Santana survived a 31-pitch first inning and the Mets stranded half the population of Queens on the bases, but they got a game-turning lift from the two players most threatened by Gary Sheffield’s arrival: Ryan Church turned a sliding catch and a strong throw from right-center field into a double play, and Daniel Murphy drove in both Mets runs with a solo homer and an RBI groundout.

The question is whether the Mets’ excellence or CC Sabathia’s ineptitude got the back-page play in New York on Tuesday. Sabathia’s Yankee debut was rough by Dooley Womack standards, never mind a pitcher who represents a $161 million expenditure. Thirteen Orioles reached base in Sabathia’s 41/3 innings, and he left with a 6-1 deficit and no strikeouts as an Opening Day-record crowd of 48,607 watched at Camden Yards.

For one day, at least, baseball was alive and spirited in Baltimore. Mark Teixeira, a Charm City product who spurned the Orioles for Yankees mega-millions, was booed each time he so much as blinked on a hitless day. And Jeffrey Maier, 12-year-old villain of the 1996 Yankees-Orioles playoff series, was avenged in the eighth inning when obvious fan interference was ignored on Cesar Izturis’ drive to the left-field wall, giving Izturis a two-run homer and the Orioles a much safer 8-5 lead.

You didn’t want to be Cody Ransom, the 33-year-old minor-league journeyman who booted two balls as the Pinstripers’ stand-in for Alex Rodriguez, and you didn’t want to be anywhere near Tony La Russa after his bullpen surrendered four runs with two outs in the ninth inning of a 6-4 loss to not exactly powerful Pittsburgh.

The Cardinals got 51/3 credible innings from putative ace Adam Wainwright, but newly appointed closer Jason Motte came in throwing batting practice in the ninth: double, strikeout, groundout, single, double, hit-by-pitch.

With the bases loaded, two out and the Cardinals leading 4-3, Jack Wilson rammed Motte’s 0-2 fastball into left-center for a bases-clearing double.

It was cold in St. Louis, but that definitely was steam coming off La Russa’s head as he stood smoldering in the dugout.

You can’t beat fun at the old ballpark, even vicariously.

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