Like hungry diners to a free all-you-can-eat buffet, squirrels are drawn to my porch and the pumpkins I place there this time of year. The furry little vandals gnaw great holes in my works of art, leaving behind a crime scene of seeds and torn pumpkin flesh.
I dug desperately around the Internet for a solution until I stumbled upon some simple advice from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Fixit columnist. And this year I may have created the equivalent of a razor-wire fence.
On Oct. 5, I perched Pumpkin Man (like a snowman executed in squash) on a bale of hay on the porch. Then I donned a pair of disposable latex gloves and smeared my guy with petroleum jelly from top to bottom; I topped that with a light dusting of cayenne pepper.
Although squirrels have been spotted skulking about, as of Wednesday, both Pumpkin Man and I were still smiling.
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Mark this buffet closed.