The presidential candidates have developed a Jones for Joes. On Thursday, John McCain launched his “Joe the Plumber” tour in Florida. The day before, Barack Obama accused him of fighting for “Joe the Hedge Fund Manager” and “Joe the CEO” instead. Since it appears we’re going to be stuck with this Joe trope at least until Election Day, we’d like to offer up a few more Joes the campaigns might want to consider putting to use:
Bazooka Joe
Eye patch-wearing bubble-gum mascot
Use: Strong appeal to young voters, especially in elementary school elections
Jo from “Little Women”
Idealized second sister in Louisa May Alcott’s famous novel
Use: Finally, a Jo for the ladies
Joe Blow
Cousin to Average Joe and Joe Six-Pack
Use: Not much, due to suspicions of ties to the drug trade
Joe-mentum
What Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman hasn’t had in a very long time
Use: Is it too late for McCain to make Lieberman VP nominee?
Joe Biden
Wants to be an Average Joe — he’s from Scranton, dangit! — but actually a long-serving U.S. senator
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Use: Will help Obama with the apparently crucial Joe vote
Morning Joe
Mmmm. Dark, rich and steamy. Bracing and soothing, all at once.
Use: May help people cope with the decline in political discourse