We’re heralding the home opener of the Blackhawks and their quest for the Stanley Cup. Uhh, whose cup is this here? Sign up at redeyechicago.com/facebookfives.
Tracy Swartz, [email protected]
Leo ebersole, [email protected]
RAHULA STROHL, [email protected]
Jimmy Greenfield, [email protected]
Stanley’s cup, [email protected]
TOPIC: How did you celebrate the Blackhawks’ home opener?
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Cherry-flavored boos.
By throwing a repeat of my 0-2 parties during the baseball playoffs. Too soon?
I watched them on TV. Well, I flipped to them. Once.
I put on the foil. Then I cooked my hands. Then I got a lot of therapy.
Someone slipped me a little Jameson, and — voila — the perfect cup of Irish coffee.
TOPIC: Give the Blackhawks some advice on how to recapture the city’s attention.
More shots. Fewer cups.
Don’t squib your kicks. Ever.
Stay on TV after baseball is over.
Put home games on TV, bring back Pat Foley, start winning.
Imagine showing me off after a hard-fought Stanley Cup victory. Getting teary-eyed, aren’t you?
TOPIC: How can the Bears bounce back from such a crushing defeat?
Continue to play dead since they can’t follow commands, fetch the ball or lick my dishes.
It might be time to smuggle in Jack Bauer for a locker room pep talk.
Alcohol. The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.
Write 100 times on the chalkboard: “I will not squib kick with 11 seconds left …”
Shhh. Please don’t say the word “crushing” around me.
TOPIC: The Bulls start regular-season play in a week. What do you know about them?
Derrick Rose goes by the nickname “Pooh.” Should fit in well.
Derrick Rose at least looks like a functioning rookie, so the exorcism must’ve worked.
Derrick Rose has more leeway than Eddy Curry.
I know just enough about them to know I won’t learn any more about them.
When Joakim Noah carries me around, I’ll be filled with cognac. Slam dunk!
TOPIC: How will Five on Five be different with Phil Thompson reduced to a part-time role?
Fans, i.e. Leo and that guy dancing for my nickels (not Leo), won’t get their Phil.
Baseball teams call in the lefty; we call in the flunkie.
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When I’m what passes for “minority,” diversity takes a hit.
We’ll have to put up with him breast-feeding around the office. Congrats on the new baby, Phil!
Fewer cup checks. Leo, you always hated that, right?