Leave it to the Irish to push the boundaries of science to create a better beer. The latest from the good folks at Guinness is The Surger, a futuristic-looking doodad that affixes to the bar and transforms cans of the famous stout into an approximation of draft Guinness, all without the complicated hoses, kegs and gas equipment.
The Surger pumps ultrasonic waves into the poured pint, which vibrate the dormant nitrogen in the beer, leading to 10 million instantaneous, microscopic explosions and one happy sipper (this sentence as published has been corrected in this text).
“This new technology creates great-tasting, great-looking Guinness,” explained brewmaster Fergal Murray, reached in Dublin before his annual March tour of Chicago. “This is the only beer in the world that demands to look perfect.”
Fans of the stout will testify to the importance of the distinct appearance of a freshly pulled Guinness — the black body hoisting the thick head of brown foam, the tiny waves of carbonation cascading down the inside of the glass like a thousand lush curtains lowering on a thousand rose-covered stages, like a silent symphony of velvet petticoats curtsying in unison, like … ahem.
“There is a beauty factor to a pint of Guinness,” Murray brogued. “And we want to make sure you as the consumer see it in its best light. This is like dressing up before you go out on a Friday night.”
Leave it to the Irish to ogle a beer. And leave it to the Guy Page to run two alcohol-related pieces the day before St. Patrick’s Day. O’ffensive!
Countless local bars serve Guinness on tap. Friendly Tap (6733 W. Roosevelt Rd., Berwyn, 708-484-9794) is among a handful that use The Surger.