For three years, the man considered America’s favorite dad has been traveling the country dispensing his tough brand of medicine to a segment of the African-American community in need of a healing.
Last week, entertainer Bill Cosby and Harvard University’s Dr. Alvin Poussaint — the psychiatrist who was a consultant on “The Cosby Show” — released a book, “Come On, People: On the Path From Victims to Victors.”
One major theme addresses the high rate of fatherlessness and the tremendous weight it places on communities and families, particularly children.
Certainly, as with any group of fathers, there are those guys who are content with being mere contributors of DNA. But there are men who are trying to be victors in this regard.
Quincy Roseborough works with Metropolitan Family Services’ Young Fathers Initiative based in the South Chicago neighborhood.
On Monday the 5-year-old group will begin its Young Fathers Job Success initiative, (registration has been extended until Wednesday, call 773-371-2920). The idea is that one impediment to fathers taking up their financial responsibilities is unemployment.
Young Fathers Job Success targets men 18 to 30. It looks for men who are unemployed and — here’s what distinguishes this from similar efforts — determined to become better fathers, breaking the cycle of abandonment.
In trying to spread the word about Young Fathers, Roseborough hits basketball courts, street corners, churches and barbershops.
Though he’s a trained case manager, Roseborough often draws from his own upbringing, which was less than Cosby-esque. The 30-year-old comes from a home in which his mother was a single parent rearing four boys. He is the oldest and was at times the de facto father, one reason, he says, he’s not a parent today.
“I know what it feels like to have that part of your life emptied out,” Roseborough said. “The young men may be reluctant to talk at first. Some are ashamed. But I go to their level and say, you can do better. And they can.”
They must.
If reaching young men directly doesn’t work, he hits the local laundromats where their girlfriends might be doing the laundry, or the lines that form outside the neighborhood Public Health office. In both places, he tells the women about the program and asks them to tell their partners.
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The two-week segment of Young Fathers Job Success is free and gives the men a quick course in interviewing, writing resumes and financial management. It also helps young fathers apply for jobs if they have a prison record.
After the two weeks, the fathers can graduate into a six-week program at Olive-Harvey College, a partner in the effort, which offers vocational training and GED prep classes. Students may qualify for financial aid for the six-week session.
Clearly, a father’s contribution isn’t solely financial. Both Young Fathers initiatives place a heavy emphasis on parenting skills and the importance of men spending time with their children, even if they are unemployed.
“Some are very upset with themselves because they haven’t seen their kids in two or three years,” Roseborough said. He tells the fathers that although they may not have a steady income, the time they spend with their children is invaluable. “Some of the moms say, ‘You’re broke. I don’t want you around my child.’ That discourages them, but we say push — even a walk to the park. That’s free.”
To help the fathers spend more time with their children, the group offers a bimonthly outing. Roseborough said the men and children almost always attract a lot of attention.
That’s because — though sad to say — the reality is that in too many situations, we don’t see enough African-American fathers just hanging out with their children. The picture is much more novelty than normalcy.
That’s true for the men as well. Most come from fatherless households. They have had few good examples of the father figure as confidant, provider, protector. Often they’re at a loss as to where to even begin.
Cosby and Poussaint’s “Come On, People” doesn’t sugarcoat the fact that the healing is a tremendous undertaking in so many areas. But the Young Fathers initiatives provide a necessary and healthy start.
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