As their wedding approached, Kathy and Kevin Stallard didn’t register for a toaster, towels or a gravy boat.
To embark on their married life, the couple asked for a chain saw, flooring and tennis balls.
Their big-ticket item? A wooden fence for their two dogs, Chelsea and Gracie.
Like many brides and grooms, the Stallards are shattering the standing tradition of wedding registry items. Couples are registering for plasma TVs, camping gear — even video games. Honeymoon registries ask for money for every aspect of the romantic excursion, from airfare to an afternoon snack of caviar, from a couples massage to a cooking class.
At honeyfund.com, couples can ask for monogrammed robes, flowers for the hotel room and an island safari on elephants.
2 toasters already
Already living together before they got hitched, the Stallards had melded two households: two toasters, five sets of pots and pans, and enough linens and sheets for a mansion. And they didn’t care for a rose china set or silver serving spoons.
“Couples nowadays think, ‘When am I going to use this?’ And I don’t even have a china closet to put the china,” Kathy Stallard said. So the couple, who said “I do” in April 2006, went with what they really wanted.
And that’s giving guests — who typically spend between $50 and $150 on a wedding gift — more options on what to buy.
Wedding experts say the alternative wedding registries are driven by changing demographics.
About 60 percent of brides and grooms live together before getting married, according to a recent Bridal Guide magazine survey. They are often older and have likely chucked the post-college hand-me-downs for better kitchenware. And it’s not a first marriage for 25 percent of couples, according to the survey.
Bridal Guide Editor Diane Forden embraces the trend, saying it’s nice for guests to know they’re buying a gift that is actually wanted and useful.
But she worries some couples may later regret passing on cookware, good knives and entertaining pieces.
“Even though right not now it might not be important, couples should take stock and think about the future and think about a time when they may have children and their lives will be more centered around the home and they will be doing more entertaining,” Forden said.
And for remarriages, Forden said couples should consider “freshening up” or adding new elements to their collection.
Harriette Rose Katz, an event planner and wedding specialist, estimates almost half the couples getting married today elect to have an unconventional wedding registry.
She cautions against instant-gratification temptations, particularly for couples lacking home essentials. Now is the time, she says, to ask for $35 plates, or hundreds of dollars worth of matching silverware.
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“I recommend that brides and grooms put things like good steak knives — these are things that belong on registries, and they are necessary,” said Katz, author of “Where to Seat Aunt Edna?” “That new trendy iPod may be outdated down the road. And you will be happy you have these things.”
Whimsy, utility blend
Some wedding experts suggest a mixing of the old and the new — think practical and whimsical.
Many Web sites allow couples to create a registry that includes everything from a KitchenAid mixing bowl to contributions for stocks and home mortgage payments.
Elaine Whiting, a previously divorced mom, enjoyed mixing the basics with the playful. She registered at Target for some traditional items, such as mixing bowls, but she also added board games, a tent and air mattresses into the mix. Whiting said she wanted the gifts to be things the whole family could enjoy, including her 11-year-old son, Killian.
Christian and Christy Roberts even put a note in their wedding invitation saying, “please no toasters.” Instead, they asked for plants, a lawn mower and a grill.
Christian Roberts, 59, is retired from the Marine Corps and works as a financial analyst for Worldspan. He said he much prefers “cool barbecue stuff.” He loves the stainless steel grill and colorful plastic cups for the patio. And he has an apron that fits his lifestyle perfectly. “It says ‘Grill Sergeant,'” he said.
It’s not fancy. Just fun.