Kobe Bryant is being traded to the Bulls.
No, wait, Kobe Bryant is not being traded to the Bulls.
No, really — Kobe Bryant is being traded to the Bulls.
No, he’s not being traded to the Bulls.
That’s the big problem with this story. By the time you’re reading this, Bryant could have asked to be traded or not traded from the Lakers six more times.
This is what I know for sure:
Kobe Bryant is not being traded this summer, not to anyone, no matter what he says. The Lakers will trade for someone. My guess is Jermaine O’Neal, but if that doesn’t happen, or if it does and it doesn’t work out, it’s not inconceivable Bryant could be with the Bulls in 2008-09.
On a personal level, I have to thank Bryant because this allows me to pay less attention to the miserable Eastern Conference finals going on in Detroit and Cleveland. That’s the reason, I think, Bryant had a basketball breakdown this week.
He has been watching someone named “Booby” Gibson become a hero for the Cavaliers and Utah’s Deron Williams skip the five-year waiting period for induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame and Derek Fisher, his old teammate who couldn’t break down a man with a cane off the dribble, and some guy on the Spurs with a name and looks like Fabio being celebrated and he’s at his window screaming, “I’m home because I’m playing with Smush Parker and Kwame Brown. Aaaggghhh!!!”
This is why we really love these guys and this game.
To recap, Bryant’s breakdown began last week when a Los Angeles Times reporter called to ask how things were going, and Bryant reiterated his position that he’s unhappy with the team and wants the Lakers to make some big moves this summer.
Given that Los Angeles doesn’t have an NFL team and it still doesn’t know what to make of baseball and Jack Nicholson doesn’t go to those games anyway, the Times basically devoted a special section to the story.
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So then an ESPN reporter called, and now Bryant was into it. He offered a less-than-supportive vote of confidence for general manager Mitch Kupchak and said he wanted former general manager Jerry West back to run the team because, geez, Kupchak got us Smush Parker and Kwame Brown.
West is retiring from the Memphis Grizzlies next month and didn’t help matters by saying he always had been a Laker. Oops. West, who handpicked Kupchak as his successor, quickly said he’s not going anywhere.
Then Bryant did his first crossover and said he was merely trying to help.
“I would love for [West] to be a part of this,” Bryant said. “But it’s not something where I demand he comes here. All I can do is offer my thoughts. I love being a Laker. I want to retire a Laker. I want to fix this, or at least help any way I can.
“I haven’t demanded a trade, I haven’t asked for a trade, I haven’t said anything like that. That’s not something I even want to think about.”
Then there was an anonymous quote in the Times on Tuesday that Bryant was responsible for forcing the trade of Shaquille O’Neal.
Angered by that, Bryant went on local radio in Los Angeles to denounce the Lakers, saying the front office was a mess and it had misled him about plans to refurbish the team. Wednesday morning, still simmering, Bryant bubbled over and upped the volume on ESPN radio by saying he wanted to be traded, knocking Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton out of the headlines for a few hours.Reports had his agent informing the Lakers there was nothing they could do to change his mind and he had begun contacting teams, including the Bulls.
A few hours later, after a conversation with Phil Jackson and undoubtedly a meditation session and some chanting, Bryant was quoted by the Los Angeles Daily News as saying: “I can only hope they do something, because I don’t want to go anyplace else. I want to stay here. Phil said, ‘Let us try to work that out, figure things out.’ That made me feel a lot better. Phil is a guy I leaned on all season for clarity and hope. When Phil and I talked, it was an emotional conversation. I want to stay here. This is my team. I love it here.”
Of course, this could all change if Flip Murray hits a big shot for the Pistons on Thursday in Game 5.
It’s only logical the Lakers aren’t going to trade Bryant, at least not now. They, along with the Knicks, have the biggest daily gross in the league and charge the most for tickets. Nicholson doesn’t pay that price to watch Luol Deng, Kirk Hinrich and Tyrus Thomas.
And the Bulls would have to give up so much to acquire Bryant — the consensus best talent in the NBA and the biggest draw — they effectively would gut their team. Then the Bulls would be the Lakers and Bryant would want to leave, and he can opt out of his contract after the 2008-09 season.
Then you would have nothing.
It’s not inconceivable that one day Bryant could be with the Bulls, though the Lakers first would have to fail next season for them to get into the picture.
It’s pretty clear from Bryant’s comments regarding Jackson that the Lakers will try to make a big move to accommodate him. There has been talk of Kevin Garnett, Amare Stoudemire or Jermaine O’Neal. O’Neal seems the most likely possibility because the Suns aren’t about to trade within the division, even if they were to deal Stoudemire.Some NBA insiders believe the Pacers will try to deal O’Neal this summer.
There have been some informal talks, with the sticking point the inclusion of young Lakers center Andrew Bynum. The Pacers want him as well as Lamar Odom and want to get rid of Jamaal Tinsley.
But the Knicks really want O’Neal to pair with Eddy Curry and have some pieces to offer in Channing Frye and David Lee. It’s not enough, but they’ll keep at it.
So it’s no sure thing the Lakers can pull off a big deal, and even if they can get someone like The Other O’Neal, it’s hardly a guarantee of playoff success in the loaded Western Conference. Jackson’s contract expires after next season and he has yet to accept an extension. With another first-round ouster and Bryant then a year away from being able to opt out, the Lakers then could have no choice but to look for the best offer for Bryant.
And then the Bulls’ pieces, assuming they haven’t already done something, could look attractive to the Lakers without destroying the Bulls’ roster. Would the Bulls then be conservative this summer and keep their pieces for a potential deal with the Lakers after next season?
Who knows how many new episodes of the Lakers’ soap opera would have occurred by then?
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