JOAN RIVERS
says she uses laughter to cope with everything.
So presumably she has found the lighter side of TV Guide Channel’s recent decision to replace her and daughter Melissa Rivers as hosts on the red carpet. Actress Lisa Rinna will take over this fall, starting with the Emmy Awards.
Meanwhile, the veteran comedian and Second City alum has no shortage of gigs, including two double-bills this weekend with Don Rickles. Before the TV Guide news broke, Rivers, 73, spoke to On the Town.
Is there a double standard for women comics––do they have to be nicer than men?
No, and there never was, ever. … We all have a different kind of humor and everybody’s humor is so specific to them. Don Rickles “insults” the audience. I [complain] about life. It’s totally different.
Has comedy lost its civility?
We’re living in a very rough world and comedy reflects that. When I started out with Ed Sullivan, I couldn’t say I was pregnant. I had to say, “I’m going hear the pitter patter of little feet.” You can’t have the same rules in a world that is so rough … When [Heather Mills] waves her leg around on television of course I’m going to make jokes about it.
You’re an advocate of plastic surgery. Why?
If a woman is over 55 or 60 and doesn’t have jowls, she’s done something. And they can tell you from today until tomorrow they haven’t, but they’re liars. Only the comedians admit to it. … If putting a little chin in makes you look better, do it. You go through life once.
What’s the dating scene like for older women?
There are no one-night stands because it takes him three days just to get into bed. And that’s a good thing.
Are you seeing anyone?
I just stopped seeing someone about seven months ago. It made me very sad because it’s lovely to have a partner, but he just wasn’t the right partner.
What’s a mistake people make in relationships?
Nowadays, everyone is a whiner, it’s inner feelings and ‘How do you feel?’ and “I need closure.” Oh shut up and just get on it. I’m so bored with this already. Get on with it and marry rich.
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— Jacqueline Fitzgerald
DON RICKLES
turns 81 Tuesday, but his acerbic wit still flows with speed and savvy to rival a comic half — or one-quarter — his age.
From his star turns as Mr. Potato Head in the “Toy Story” films to his still-ambitious live schedule, Rickles seems to have crossed the word “retirement” out of his dictionary. Rickles spoke with On the Town prior to his shows with Joan Rivers.
How is it to share a bill with Joan Rivers?
Joan’s a wonderful gal and we go back many, many years. We respect each other and have no social problems; after the show, she goes her way and I go mine. But we’re certainly warm toward each other and that’s what makes the chemistry work.
Your humor is tricky to do, and we can see how insults can go so wrong in the case of Michael Richards. What do you think happened here?
It’s a sad thing. I think he just lost his composure and showed it on the stage and that’s just unfortunate. Performing, I exaggerate everything and the performance itself becomes a joke. I don’t have set jokes, and that’s why my shows change every night.
Any jokes you regret?
I never thought, ‘No I shouldn’t have said that.’ I said it, I believed in it and that was part of the learning. If I hadn’t thought that way, there’s no way Don Rickles would’ve become who he is today.
Your memoir comes out on your birthday (“Rickles’ Book,” Simon & Schuster) and you recall your big break at Slate Brothers in Hollywood. Were you scared to take shots at celebrities in the club audience?
I just said I’d throw my best punches and word got around that Rickles made fun of whoever’s there, and people started coming out — Clark Gable, Burt Lancaster. Don’t ask me how it happened, but people started coming on stage with me to do bits. It worked out really good.
George Burns, Bob Hope and Milton Berle lived long lives. Do you think there’s anything to the notion that comedy keeps you young?
As you said that, my hands started to shrivel up! It keeps the mind going and keeps me active. My wife always says to keep working because it keeps me sharp. The great thing is my mind is better than it’s ever been and I’m sharper than I’ve ever been. Thank God.
— Louis R. Carlozo
—
Joan Rivers and Don Rickles
Batten down the hatches—barbed wit is coming your way
When: 8 p.m. Friday in Waukegan; 8 p.m. Saturday in Joliet
Where: Genesee Theatre, 203 N. Genesee St., Waukegan; Rialto Square Theatre, 102 N. Chicago St., Joliet
Price: $37-$75; 312-559-1212,
www.ticketmaster.com