Why Men Fall Out of Love
What Every Woman Needs to Understand
By Michael French (Ballantine Books, $14.95 paper)
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Most men were never taught how — or took the time to learn — to communicate with women on an intimate basis, says French, who in this book recognizes four “relationship busters” (loss of intimacy, quest for validation, perfection impulse, fading of attraction). He offers solutions for returning vibrancy to relationships.
1. “Men keep their internal lives — and their more complex emotions — closely guarded, because either they don’t understand them or they are afraid of being betrayed by them.”
2. Citing a loss of attraction is an easy out for men in relationships because it doesn’t involve a great amount of emotion introspection.
3. ” … For men, sex creates good relationship feelings. For women, good relationship feelings create their desire and interest in sex.”
4. “Men value goals, independence and being a go-getter as their definition of what one should do in order to achieve happiness. Women’s values … have more to do with support and connection.”
5. The midlife crisis is more of a problem for men because women deal with issues more intimately throughout their entire lives, while men will neglect dealing with childhood issues or buried emotions until a crisis wallops them.