If dancing is important to your nightlife experience, then you are well aware that not all dance floors are created equal.
For a dance floor to rock, the music has to bump, the crowd has to be pumped and your partner needs two feet that know what they’re doing. Even a small, cramped floor can be jumping if the people around you know how to dance.
Don’t forget the caged go-go dancers. They help too.
A good dance floor also depends on preference. Some people like big, huge clubs with sound systems cranked up to ear-splitting levels. Some prefer a sultry salsa night in the back room of a restaurant.
But if your heart thumps when Rihanna’s “Pon De Replay” hits the speakers, then keep reading. Our At Play dance team hit several of Chicago’s hottest nightclubs to scope out which floors sizzle and which ones fizzle.
Wanna dance?
Which dance floors sizzle–and which ones fizzle
Berlin
954 W. Belmont Ave.; 773-348-4975, www.berlinchicago.com
Cover charge: $3-$7
Size and capacity: The setup is such that the dance floor is the main attraction and everything else is secondary. With about 3,000 square feet of space, the floor feels like a million people could dance here.
Skill level: All kinds, but one thing is for sure, they’re all here to dance.
Atmosphere: This “pan-cultural” Lakeview club is famous for being inclusive, so an open mind is important for visiting heteros. Some nights are reserved for different audiences and music genres; the last Sunday of the month is devoted to Prince.
Bottom line: With its communal vibe, Berlin feels more like a fun party at a friend’s house than a club.
Betty’s Blue Star Lounge
1600 W. Grand Ave.; 312-243-1699, www.bettysbluestarlounge.com
Cover charge: Free-$15
Size and capacity: At around 400 square feet, Betty’s dance floor feels a little cramped, which can lead to constant-yet-accidental bumping after 2 a.m., when the after-hours bar fills up. Painted completely black and lacking any decor, the floor forces you to focus on your dance partner.
Skill level: No potential “Dancing With the Stars” partners here. Just good old-fashioned grinding, meat-market style.
Atmosphere: Walk into this Grand Avenue cavern and you’ll soon discover why the lights are so low. Betty’s caters to the taut, stylish twenty- and thirtysomethings looking to bump and grind minus a pretentious vibe. Hip-hop, house and Top 40 spin as men and women dance up a storm. The place erupts later as more pub-crawlers amble into this 4 a.m. bar, searching for the next love of their life. Or for the night.
Bottom line: This place is for the grown and sexy.
Darkroom
2210 W. Chicago Ave.; 773-276-1411, www.darkroombar.com
Cover charge: Free-$10
Size and capacity: A great setup. The dance floor here is one-third of the space. The floor is in amazing shape; it’s polished with no scratch marks and zero bounce as you dance. You almost want to wear footsies. The bar separates the seating from the dance floor, but it’s more of a loose oval, so dancing could be happening all over the place. About 500 people can dance comfortably here.
More Top Picks Best Airbrush Kits
Skill level: People are more comfortable standing on the dance floor drinking than actually dancing.
Atmosphere: Ukrainian Village hipsters and young professionals sip here, with few taking advantage of the club’s great dance floor. Way too many people are too shy or “too cool” to really start something. And the music is really good. DJs play everything from reggae to ’80s to hip-hop to house, depending on the night. There’s usually a cover on nights when there is live music, usually a reggae or rock band.
Bottom line: Great, if you don’t mind having the dance floor to yourself.
D’Vine
1950 W. North Ave.; 773-235-5700
Cover charge: $5-$20
Size and capacity: This hip-hop club in Wicker Park provides an answer to the age-old question: When you’re dancing, where should you look: The bar? The hotties? The floor? The answer is the caged dancer. She might make you jealous if you came to dance, though. Outside the “cage” (which resembles more of a stage with railings), the dance floor becomes pretty small. Tables line the floor on either side and, to make matters worse, walking across the floor is the only way to make it to the bathroom. The rickety floor is also suspect. Like a graystone just before rehab, it feels like we’re all gonna fall through any minute. The kitchen, which serves calamari, chicken fingers and other bar menu staples, stays open through closing so you can make up calories as you go.
Skill level: You don’t have much to compete with; a simple two-step will get you through the night. But when the DJ gets going, folks wear the floor out.
Atmosphere: Every once in a while, when the DJ throws a crowd-pleasing beat, the floor gets frisky in response. Men tend to sip and gawk at the caged female dancer. Also with the low lights, it’s very easy to kiss without most people noticing. And they are happy to do so right on the floor.
Bottom line: The caged dancer gets in the way and the floor needs renovation.
Excalibur
632 N. Dearborn St.; 312-266-1944, www.excaliburchicago.com
Cover charge: Free-$10
Size and capacity: The club’s first-floor Cabaret area pushes dancers along the west wall in a long-yet-narrow 700-square-foot space. By contrast, the club’s third-floor area, Club X, is a wide, expansive space spanning two rooms and more than 1,100 square feet.
Skill level: Experienced dancers occupy both floors, so make sure you can dance on beat before hitting the dance floor.
Atmosphere: A venerable River North nightspot, Excalibur continues to bring in scantily clad twentysomethings showing off lots of skin. And yet, the club has a comfortable vibe, thanks to spacious lounge areas filled with couches and love seats, giving dancers a place to chill after a long set. Video monitors and speakers blast Top 40 pop, but often a reggaeton song will pull patrons out of their seats and onto the dance floor.
Bottom line: Big enough to accommodate dancers and gawkers alike.
Funky Buddha Lounge
728 W. Grand Ave.; 312-666-1695, www.funkybuddha.com
Cover charge: $5-$30
Size and capacity: The bar and lounge area make up half of the club. Walk through both and hang a right to find the dance floor. It doesn’t feel big enough to hold 500 people, but somehow there’s enough room to get down.
Skill level: You should know more than a two-step before coming here. People here look cool when they dance, like they’re auditioning for a commercial.
Atmosphere: Diverse crowd of young professionals, artists and club kids. Weeknights are definitely geared toward the serious dancers (except Mondays, the spoken word night). Weekends are more of a general admission club scene. Speaking of which, the cover spikes pretty high for the weekends–$20-$30 for the standard dancehall and hip-hop tracks–versus $5-$10 cover for the weekdays.
Bottom line: If you want to dance, come during the week. If you want to just look cool amid a sea of people, the weekend’s all yours.
Green Dolphin Street
2200 N. Ashland Ave.; 773-395-0066, www.jazzitup.com
Cover charge: Free-$20
Size and capacity: At more than 4,000 square feet, Green Dolphin’s dance floor can handle a crowd with ease. A few tables line the back of the room, giving clubgoers a place to rest their feet without having to travel. The club focuses on jazz, Latin, big band and R&B on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, but the restaurant/nightclub highlight is its Monday Night “Boom Boom Room” party, a blitzkrieg of motion to house and hip-hop music.
Skill level: It ranges from the gawkers swilling suds at the bar to the more laid-back dancers in the room’s back area. The almost-professional-level dancers crowd the deejay booth, strutting their skills near the front of the room.
Atmosphere: The room feels weird thanks to its huge dance floor, but the music keeps dancers moving. The crowd looks like a box of Lucky Charms, a wild mix of black and white, old and young, club kids and stuffed-shirt out-of-towners (many hotels recommend Green Dolphin to guests).
Bottom line: Even the barflies will sway at this scene.
RadioStar
1524 N. Fremont St.; 312-266-1234, www.radiostarchicago.com
Cover charge: $10
Size and capacity: RadioStar’s two dance floors (one circular, one rectangular) offer a lot of space for intense, high-powered dancing.
Skill level: You need not only skills on the dance floor, but some endurance as well. These kids dance and dance. Make sure you have a glass of water (or at least a Corona) in between sets.
Atmosphere: Home of the performance show “The Awesome 80s Prom,” RadioStar assaults almost every sense, from the blaring music (house on Thursdays, hip-hop on Fridays and all ’80s on Saturday) to the huge monitors. Wait long enough and the musty odor of sweat starts to creep up your nose. But that is also the appeal of RadioStar and its early-20s crowd. They want to party. They want to dance. That’s it. Chat somewhere else.
Bottom line: Loud, jumping. Come ready to dance. Bring nose plugs too.
More Top Picks Best Whitewater Kayaks For Intermediate Paddlers
Keep on movin’
If you want to get on the floor hassle-free, here are some ways to lighten your load:
Leave the purse behind. All you need is a debit card, ID and at least three $20s. A good dancer is good company and free drinks are your pay.
No MMS (Minis, midriffs and synthetics). You want to look good, so don’t show and tell on your Victoria’s Secret. Stay comfortable. Rayon, polyester and nylon should be avoided; when mixed with sweat they can produce a plastic-bag-stuck-to-raw-meat look. Hot!
Lay off the heavy stuff. Pungent perfumes and colognes really ripen when mixed with sweat and other scents. Stick with a good antiperspirant.
No 3-inch heels. Two-inch heels still look sexy and are more likely to keep you from playing slip-n-slide on stale beer.
Keep hydrated. Drink water–lots of it.
If you want to dance with someone, just ask. Even if it looks like he/she is all about it, it’s just plain creepy to gyrate in a stranger’s direction.
–Melissa Clay
———-