Among men taking deliberate steps to get a woman into bed, 55 percent said they told their date “I love you” simply to reach their goal. That is according a poll of 3,000 people in the United States and Canada by Harris Interactive for the Harlequin Romance Report.
In all, 62 percent of men said they felt they had to do something out of the ordinary to get what they wanted. The remainder apparently figured they could just make do with the old siege mentality of charm, honesty and tenderness.
In the poll, 44 percent of women said they have done something special for the sexual dividend, and of those, 41 percent used the “I love you” ploy.
Let’s clarify one thing upfront. From the guy point of view, the “I love you” works a lot better while dating than while married or committed. After that, the woman’s reaction will be a hearty “I love you too, Pooky; what’s on TV?” or “You know, I really appreciate that; away with you, now.”
So let’s not blame guys for using these words at peak impact.
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What I find intriguing is that 41 percent of similarly goal-oriented women have done the same thing.
On that score, I have this suggestion for women: Saying “I love you” is not necessary. Just so you don’t have to pour club soda on a stain of untruth, let me give you a few phrases guaranteed to get the same result. In a grocery store: “Excuse me, do you know where the pickles are?” On the street: “Pardon me, is this Michigan Avenue?” Or in a relationship: “Hi.”
Back to the report, speaking again of that sex-goal-oriented subgroup:
“Three out of four men have complimented someone they were dating because they hoped it would lead to sex.” OK, boys, let’s practice: “Nice shoes, lady.”
“Almost three-quarters of women (71 percent) have bought sexy lingerie or sex toys because they thought it would lead to sex.” These must have been the women in Canada, where Molson and Labatt are among the best-selling sex toys.
“More than half of men (52 percent) bought someone they were dating an expensive gift because they hoped it would lead to sex, compared with only 23 percent of women.” I am shocked. I would have thought that guys spend all that money just because.
“Men are more likely than women to have attended an event their partner wanted to go to that did not interest them at all because they hoped it would lead to sex.” I’ll assume they weren’t talking about their own weddings.
So, to review: Somewhere in North America are a bunch of women who will tell you they love you even if they don’t, will buy you expensive stuff and will even acquire sex toys and lingerie all to go where guys want to go anyway.
So here’s a tip for guys. You are in demand! Cut out this column, circle the above paragraph and let your woman find it somewhere. Then see if you don’t end up with a six-pack of Molson under your pillow–hopefully still in its containers.
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