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I just don’t know anymore.

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There is a part of me that thinks that the Seattle Seahawks are so meek, there is no chance they could invade Soldier Field and beat the Bears.

That’s the smaller part of me, however. The main part of me is sticking to my guns: The Bears flop on Sunday, and we get on with the business of watching the Bulls and Hawks beat everyone except the really good teams.

Here’s how it plays out.

First quarter: Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck drops back and finds Bobby Engram for an 80-yard bomb; Seahawks go up, 7-0. Yes, Bear fans, that Bobby Engram. Rex Grossman quickly feels the need to complete a pass to anyone, regardless of team. He tosses one in to the hands of Seattle linebacker Lofa Tatupu. It leads to a Seahawk field goal. 10-0, Seahawks.

Second quarter: No problem. All we need is a Devin Hester return and someone on the defense to score, and we win this thing. Meanwhile, Rex is thinking, “Hey, I wonder if it’s possible to get a QB rating below zero. Let’s find out.” He tosses one to Seahawks DE Julian Peterson; it leads to another Seattle field goal. Lovie Smith immediately begins rehearsing his post-game speech. He chants his “Rex is our quarterback” mantra under the delusion the Bears have another another game next week. 13-0, Seahawks.

Third quarter: Someone makes the crazy suggestion to run 230-pound monster running back Cedric Benson down their throats. Oh, we can’t do that because … no one knows. We just don’t. Ron Rivera starts believing the Pittsburgh job is his. He then spends the entire quarter reading the Steelers’ media guide. Hester returns a kick to the Seattle 5-yard line, where the Bears promptly turn it over. A scoreless quarter mercifully ends.

Fourth quarter: Benson runs eight times for 100 yards and a touchdown. Hmm, remember that for next year. The final score: Seattle 13, Chicago 7. Grossman finishes with a -0.5 QB rating. Sickening. Fox switches to “Celebrity Ice Fishing.” Jerry Angelo prepares to draft another QB. Once again, Rex is brutally honest during the press conference: “I’m just not that good.”

Thanks at least for the honesty, Rex.

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