PLOT: DR. NO (’62)
Dr. No intends to destroy a U.S. moon rocket from his nuclear-powered base on an island near Jamaica.
VILLIANS: Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (4 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Man torched by flame-throwing tank disguised as a dragon
COOLEST GADGET: A Geiger counter
BODY COUNT**: 8
BEST WISECRACK: “That’s a Smith & Wesson. And you’ve had your six.” Bond before shooting turncoat agent pointing empty gun at him
BEST FEMALE NAME: Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress)
RANKING: 4
PLOT: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (’63)
S.P.E.C.T.R.E. sets a trap for Bond in a plot to steal the Lektor (a Russian decoding device).
VILLIANS: Red Grant (Robert Shaw)
Rosa Kleb (Lotte Lenya)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 1/2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Bad guy executed by a swift kick from a poison-tipped shoe spike (at right)
COOLEST GADGET: (poison-tipped shoe spike)
BODY COUNT**: 13
BEST WISECRACK: “She’s had her kicks.” Bond after Tatiana offs the old lady with the killer shoes
BEST FEMALE NAME: Rosa Kleb (Lotte Lenya)
RANKING: 2
PLOT: GOLDFINGER (’64)
Goldfinger plans to explode a nuclear device in Ft. Knox to create global economic chaos.
VILLIANS: Oddjob (Harold Sakata)
Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (4 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Woman suffocated by gold paint
COOLEST GADGET: Aston-Martin DB-5 with ejection seat and machinegun taillights
BODY COUNT**: 35
BEST WISECRACK: “That’s as hard as listening to the Beatles without ear muffs.” Bond on what it’s like to drink champagne at the improper temperature
BEST FEMALE NAME: Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman)
RANKING: 1
PLOT: THUNDERBALL (’65)
Evil S.P.E.C.T.R.E. agents steal nukes and threaten to blow up Miami unless paid ransom.
VILLIANS: Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Guy dropped in shark tank
COOLEST GADGET: Bond’s jet pack
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BODY COUNT**: 46
BEST WISECRACK: “I think he got the point.” Bond after killing henchman with harpoon gun
BEST FEMALE NAME: Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi)
RANKING: 6
PLOT: YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (’67)
Blofeld tries to spark U.S.-U.S.S.R. war by hijacking spacecraft.
VILLIANS: Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasance)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Bad guy dropped in piranha tank
COOLEST GADGET: Cigarette that shoots rocket
BODY COUNT**: 61
BEST WISECRACK: “Oh, the things I do for England.” Bond as he unzips a woman’s dress
BEST FEMALE NAME: Kissy (Mie Hama)
RANKING: 5
PLOT: ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE (’69)
Blofeld threatens world with toxic poisons unless he’s paid ransom and officially recognized as a count.
VILLIANS: Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Telly Savalas)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 1/2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Wile E. Coyote-style fall from mountain
COOLEST GADGET: Machine that cracks a safe and makes photocopies
BODY COUNT**: 22
BEST WISECRACK: “He’s branched off.” Bond after a tree snags Blofeld from his speeding bobsled
BEST FEMALE NAME: Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat)
RANKING: 7
PLOT: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (’71)
Blofeld orbits a super-laser satellite over the Earth and threatens to destroy the world.
VILLIANS: Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Scorpion dropped down back of a man’s shirt
COOLEST GADGET: Finger print projectionscreen in closet
BODY COUNT**: 24
BEST WISECRACK: A full-figured gal introduces herself, saying, “Hi, I’m Plenty,” to which Bond replies, “Of course you are.”
BEST FEMALE NAME: Plenty O’Toole (Lana Wood)
RANKING: 9
PLOT: LIVE AND LET DIE (’73)
Kananga plans to flood the U.S. with heroin and create a nation of helpless hopheads.
VILLIANS: Dr. Kananga (Yaphet Kotto)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (1 1/2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Dr. Kananga is force-fed a compressed-air bullet, inflating him until he explodes
COOLEST GADGET: Rear-view mirror dart gun
BODY COUNT**: 13
BEST WISECRACK: “Just being disarming.” Bond after tearing man’s fake arm off and throwing him out of a moving train
BEST FEMALE NAME: Solitaire (Jane Seymour)
RANKING: 10
PLOT: MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (’74)
Scaramanga and Bond duel; chase to find mysterious device that changes something into something.
VILLIANS: Scaramanga (Christopher Lee)
Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Scaramanga guns down hired hitman in shooting gallery/house of horrors
COOLEST GADGET: Car that converts into plane
BODY COUNT**: 4
BEST WISECRACK: “He must have found me quite titillating.” Bond after wearing fake third nipple to impersonate Scaramanga
BEST FEMALE NAME: Chu Mi (Unidentified actress)
RANKING: 12
PLOT: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (’77)
Stromberg steals nukes to trigger world annihilation, leaving only his undersea world alive.
VILLIANS: Karl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens)
Jaws (Richard Kiel)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Man bites shark
COOLEST GADGET: Deadly bionic teeth
BODY COUNT**: 74
BEST WISECRACK: “How does that grab you?” Bond to Jaws after lowering giant magnet onto his face
BEST FEMALE NAME: Agent XXX (Barbara Bach)
RANKING: 3
PLOT: MOONRAKER (’79)
Hugo Drax sets out to kill everyone on Earth, leaving only his space-station colony alive. Sound familiar?
VILLIANS: Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale)
Jaws (Richard Kiel)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (1 SKULL)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: (none listed)
COOLEST GADGET: Return of the deadly bionic teeth
BODY COUNT**: 17
BEST WISECRACK: “I believe he’s attempting re-entry!” Q exclaiming as Bond and Goodhead are returning to Earth in the space shuttle
BEST FEMALE NAME: Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles)
RANKING: 22
PLOT: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (’81)
Confusing race to find strategic ballistic missile system.
VILLIANS: Aris Kristatos (Julian Glover)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (1 SKULL)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Evil hockey player crushed by Zamboni
COOLEST GADGET: 3D-Visual Ident-o-Graph
BODY COUNT**: 29
BEST WISECRACK: “That’s detente comrade: You don’t have it. I don’t have it.” Bond to Soviet agent after he tosses ballistic device off cliff
BEST FEMALE NAME: Bibi (Lynn-Holly Johnson)
RANKING: 18
PLOT: OCTOPUSSY (’83)
Jewel forgery and smuggling drive plot to blow up U.S. Air Force base to trigger U.S. disarmament and Soviet domination.
VILLIANS: Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan)
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EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Bond helper killed by circular saw yo-yo
COOLEST GADGET: Fake crocodile head to hide Bond underwater
BODY COUNT**: 22
BEST WISECRACK: Actually, it’s his lack of one when Octopussy reveals that her father nicknamed her
BEST FEMALE NAME: Octopussy (Maud Adams)
RANKING: 19
PLOT: NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (’83)
Loose remake of “Thunderball,” updated with scheme to blow up Middle Eastern oil fields.
VILLIANS: Maximillian Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (1 1/2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Woman flies to pieces when she is shot in the stomach with an exploding pen tip
COOLEST GADGET: Rocket powered motorcycle
BODY COUNT**: 31
BEST WISECRACK: “We’re not allowed to give endorsements.” Bond to Fatima Blush, who insists that he put in writing that she was his greatest lover
BEST FEMALE NAME: Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera)
RANKING: 11
A VIEW TO A KILL (’85)
Max Zorin tries to corner microchip market by destroying Silicon Valley.
VILLIANS: Max Zorin (Christopher Walken)
May Day (Grace Jones)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Man killed by razor-sharp fake butterfly
COOLEST GADGET: Ring/camera
BODY COUNT**: 27
BEST WISECRACK: “The bubbles tickle my Tchaikovsky.” Pola Ivanova (Fiona Fullerton) after a bubble bath with Bond
BEST FEMALE NAME: Jenny Flex (Alison Doody) (Her real name is even funnier)
RANKING: 20
PLOT: THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (’87)
Russian general buys arms and resells drugs to gain power.
VILLIANS: Gen. Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbe)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (1 SKULL)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Um….do shootings count?
COOLEST GADGET: Keychain stuns/explodes depending on what’s whistled
BODY COUNT**: 22
BEST WISECRACK: “He got the boot.” Bond after henchman flies out of plane clutching Bond’s untied footwear
BEST FEMALE NAME: Kara Milovy (Maryam d’Abo) (No, it’s not funny)
RANKING: 21
PLOT: LICENSE TO KILL (’89)
Humorless Bond seeks revenge on a Central American drug lord who has maimed his best friend.
VILLIANS: Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Screaming man is fed feet first into a shredding machine
COOLEST GADGET: Pack of plastic explosive cigarettes
BODY COUNT**: 17
BEST WISECRACK: “Looks like he came to a dead-end.” Bond, discovering a bad guy impaled on the tines of a forklift
BEST FEMALE NAME: Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto)
RANKING: 21
PLOT: GOLDENEYE (’95)
Turncoat Agent 006 plans to use satellite weapons system to force world financial meltdown.
VILLIANS: Alec (006) Trevelyan (Sean Bean)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Onatopp crushes a man to death with her legs during sex
COOLEST GADGET: Pen bomb (four clicks and it explodes)
BODY COUNT**: 54
BEST WISECRACK: “She always did enjoy a good squeeze.” Bond after Onatopp is crushed to death against a tree
BEST FEMALE NAME: Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen)
RANKING: 15
PLOT: TOMORROW NEVER DIES (’97)
Media magnate steals missile to trigger world war and to generate news stories.
VILLIANS: Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Guy dropped into printing press
COOLEST GADGET: Cellular phone that operates Bond’s car
BODY COUNT**: 54
BEST WISECRACK: “I’m just up here at Oxford brushing up on a little Danish.” Bond on a phone while in bed with a Nordic beauty
BEST FEMALE NAME: Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh)
RANKING: 16
PLOT: WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (’99)
Oil pipeline builders plot dizzyingly elaborate scheme to destroy rivals and exploit their own interests.
VILLIANS: Elektra King (Sophie Marceau)
Renard (Robert Carlyle)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Good guy blown to bits by $3 million in urea-soaked and booby-trapped money.
COOLEST GADGET: Blue-tinted X-ray glasses
BODY COUNT**: 42
BEST WISECRACK: “He caught a bullet, instead of a plane.” Bond explaining a bad guy’s absence
BEST FEMALE NAME: Christmas Jones (Denise Richards)
RANKING: 17
PLOT: DIE ANOTHER DAY (’02)
Bond investigates covert military buildup in the supposedly demilitarized zone between North and South Korea.
VILLIANS: Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens), Zao (Rick Yune), Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (3 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Guy is impaled by giant icicle chandelier
COOLEST GADGET: Invisible Aston Martin sports car/rocket-launcher
BODY COUNT**: 36
BEST WISECRACK: “Don’t blow it all at once.” Bond as he turns over a suitcase full of diamonds with a bomb hidden inside
BEST FEMALE NAME: Jinx, short for Giacinta Johnson (Halle Berry)
RANKING: 14
PLOT: CASINO ROYALE (`06)
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Bond reintroduced as newly branded 007 trying to prevent a financier of terrorism from winning a poker tournament.
VILLIANS: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen)
EVIL FACTOR (1-4 SKULLS): (2 1/2 SKULLS)
MOST UNUSUAL DEATH: Nail gun shot through sunglasses lens
COOLEST GADGET: Poison-antidote-and-defibrillator kit in car’s glove compartment
BODY COUNT**: 16
BEST WISECRACK: “Do I look like I give a damn?” Bond after a bartender asks whether he’d prefer his martini shaken or stirred
BEST FEMALE NAME: Stephanie Broadchest, the hotel check-in pseudonym for Vesper Lynd (Eva Green)
RANKING: 8
– – –
*This chart is an update of one that originally appeared in 1997.
**Only kills that could be confirmed were counted; massive explosions of undersea worlds and other evil lairs, where deaths were only presumed, were not included. E-mail your comments to [email protected]
For more, see chicagotribune.com/Bond