Psychologist Paris Finner-Williams said finding out your significant other has been unfaithful can be traumatic. If your initial reaction is outrage, separate yourself from your cheating mate to avoid becoming aggressive or violent, which could alter your life forever. Give yourself time to figure out what you should do and if you want to remain in the relationship. She suggests taking the following steps while you formulate a plan:
– Decide if you’ll continue living in your home.
– Review the relationship’s pros and cons.
– Schedule a counseling appointment.
– Prepare a list of questions, but probe for a limited time, then let it go. Possible questions: Who is the other person? Where did you meet? What is it about her or him that attracted you? What are your feelings for the other person? Did you tell the person you were married?
– If the relationship is dead, don’t try to resurrect it.
– Don’t expect an evil person to respond in a rational way.
– When a partner cheats, the relationship has to start over again. If you decide to continue in the relationship, and your mate says he or she won’t cheat again, Finner-Williams said not to trust the new behavior for nine months to a year.
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