Your CEO goes on and on. As you walk back to your cubicle, you realize you have no idea what he just said.
Welcome to the world of buzzwords, important-sounding words or phrases primarily used to impress laymen, according to John Walston, author of “The Buzzword Dictionary: 1,000 Phrases Translated From Pompous to English.”
More Top Picks Window Ac
Walston, of Kennett Square, Pa., decided to start the buzzword Web site, buzzwhack.com, in 2000. The site now sends about 10,000 people a daily e-mail with a new buzzword.
“This was really to be fun more than anything else,” Walston said. “Let’s laugh at it and make fun of people who don’t realize what they’re doing and see how foolish they sound.”
Here are some “Buzzword Dictionary” definitions:
404: A derogatory term used to describe someone who is totally clueless. Comes from the pesky error message on computers: 404 Not Found.
BlackBerry thumb: Swelling or pain at the base of the thumb, generally suffered by execs or wannabe execs after operating their BlackBerrys (left).
Blahger: A blogger whose message primarily consists of blah-blah-blah.
Cellular Macarena: When a cell phone rings in a public place, everyone reaches for his or her coat pocket, front pants pocket, back pants pocket, etc.
Cyberslackers: Employees who use the company Internet connection during work hours to surf the Net, shop, play games, check stock prices, etc.
Deja moo: The nagging feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
Deja poo: The feeling that you’ve stepped in this bull before.
Dixie-Chicked: To be reviled or boycotted for voicing an unpopular political sentiment.
Enron: To undermine the future. A product of the Enron scandal, this new verb comes courtesy of former U.S. Sen. Tom Daschle of South Dakota, who said, “I don’t want to Enron the American people. I don’t want to see them holding the bag at the end of the day just like Enron employees have held the bag.”
Escape ring: A planned call or beep from a co-worker that allows you to feign an emergency to escape a particularly boring or meaningless meeting.
Geek chic: Styles or fashions favored by computer geeks.
Jitterati: What the digital generation becomes after sipping one too many cups of Starbucks.
Job spill: When work cuts into your personal time.
Keyboard dyslexia: Typing all the correct letters, just in the wrong sequence. Occurs when dashing off an e-mail response.
M&Ms: Entry-level employees fresh out of college who fancy themselves “management material.” Their candy-coated degree looks great, but inside they melt in the heat of real work.
Nerdvana: The ultimate state of complete geekiness.
Pajamahadeen: The new-media watchdogs. Bloggers who spend their days surfing the Net, challenging and fact-checking the traditional media.
Payroll orphan: Someone who has lost his or her job.
Professional learning community: Teachers.
reBay: To buy an item on eBay only to turn around and sell it on eBay at a higher price.
Refrigerator magnet: A person who can’t pass the refrigerator without opening the door and searching for a quick snack.
Repurposed entree: Leftovers.
More Top Picks Best Active Seating Stools For Offices
Scooby snacks: Token compensation, generally non-monetary, given as a reward. Taken from the cartoon “Scooby-Doo,” wherein the heroic dog is rewarded with Scooby snacks.
SEP: Someone Else’s Problem.
SOFE: Significant Other Forced Event. Any event your spouse or significant other is obligated to attend–preferably with a date. Pronounced So-fee.
Up-titling: The practice of giving impressive-sounding titles instead of raises. Examples: The Head of Verbal Telecommunications really is a receptionist. An Optical Illuminator Enhancer cleans windows. And Stock Replenishment Executives stock shelves.
Verbicidal: Condition that exists when a person believes he or she is skilled in the use of words (a verbalist) but in reality is grammatically challenged.
Vuja day: The distinct feeling you’ve never been here (or heard of this) before. The opposite of deja vu.
Wet signature: An original signature. The old-fashioned kind, written in ink on a real paper document–not one that’s been faxed, photocopied or scribbled electronically with a stylus.
Yetties: Young, entrepreneurial, tech-based twentysomethings. Also known as “young, entrepreneurial technocrats.”
YOYO: Acronym for You’re On Your Own. Commonly used in text messaging and in chat rooms, but increasingly slipping into daily business discourse.
Zerotasking: To do nothing or have nothing to do. On NBC’s Thursday night sitcom, “The Office,” Jim (John Krasinski, left) and other workers often find themselves zerotasking.