It’s summer and you know what that means. Women across Chicago will be changing apartments and calling up male acquaintances to see whether they can help with the heavy lifting–like hauling a sofa up three flights of stairs is a great way for a guy to spend a 90-degree day.
Unless you kind of like her. Will she resent it if you say, “No, but good luck with your move”?
“Absolutely,” said Lori Gottlieb, co-author of “I Love You, Nice to Meet You” (St. Martin’s Press, $19.95) “If you say `no,’ it can definitely hurt you. If you say `yes,’ it can help.”
Think of the move as a bit of a boyfriend interview. Gottlieb said women will watch a guy to see how he handles the stress. “If he can’t deal with a move, how will he deal with changing diapers?” she said.
If a guy agrees to help, he should expect to be treated very nicely. “He should be supplied with food and drink and thanked profusely,” she said.
Helping her lug her stuff across town is a nice-guy move, and some women may be just looking for free labor. So watch for clues: A non-interested woman won’t be looking cute on the day of the move, according to Gottlieb, and she won’t try to hide her embarrassing personal items. “She’s treating him like a girlfriend with muscles,” Gottlieb said.
All isn’t lost once a guy realizes he’s a moving buddy, not a love interest, however. Gottlieb said the woman may have invited her cute friends to help with the move. Or she may have a change of heart once she sees him lifting heavy boxes and being all sorts of manly.
“That’s sexy to us,” Gottlieb said. “She may be oddly attracted to him when she sees him acting like a guy.”
But when the long-lost ex calls, guys are not obligated to help with a move. It’s not like the presidency, where you’re always referred to as Mr. President.
“You’re not Mr. Moving Guy,” she said. “You lose the Mr. Moving Guy when you break up.”