When summer rolls around, Chicago is populated with beach-going suburbanites, awestruck tourists and, unfortunately, thousands of smelly guys. The heat and humidity combine to make some of our ranks particularly rank. So what should you do about it? Q found a handful of solutions more delicate than distributing nose plugs to your loved ones.
It’s a stereotype because it’s true; the blue-collar set sweats more than those of us working in air-conditioned offices. So they, naturally, smell more. But Duluth Trading Co. offers a high-tech work shirt made from bamboo fiber that resists odor. The ridiculously named Bamboozled Freedom of Movement shirt wicks away sweat and reduces bacteria that cause odor, while employing underarm gussets that enable heat to escape. The shirt costs $34.50 at duluthtrading.com or by calling 800-505-8888.
Smelly guys who aren’t ashamed of stealing products from women can pick up a pack of Sweatex, which are disposable underarm, sweat-absorbing pads. The pads come with instructions but fail to provide excuses you can use should a buddy notice what you’ve got stuffed under your shirt. Disregard the photos of wet-pitted women at sweatex.com and order a package of 10 for about $5 (including shipping). Then never tell a soul.
The good folks at Adidas know sweat, so it makes sense that they’d produce a 48-hour deodorant. This writer tested Adidas’ Sport Fever, and while it feels a bit like you’re applying a coat of paint under your arms, it seems to work. Drugstores also offer a Mitchum deodorant that claims to work for 48 hours. And the seriously smelly can turn to MegaDry, a super-strength spray that you can buy–without having to face that cute clerk at Walgreens–for about $23 (including shipping) at megadry.com.
Finally, if the smell emanating from your body is making loved ones dizzy, you can turn to modern medicine. Botox clinics around the city and suburbs offer treatments for odor-producing sweat glands. You can have your pits zapped with the anti-wrinkle chemical and leave the clinic a dry guy. Of course, the first sweat test happens when you open the bill. Treatments, which temporarily stop sweating, can run about $1,000.