For many new grads, it’s worse than a pink slip: the dreaded office cry, witnessed–and disapproved of–by co-workers. One bad day, a few tears and suddenly everyone thinks you’re “sensitive.” So how can employees stop themselves from crying on the job?
First, keep in mind that age or inexperience doesn’t mean a younger worker is more prone to tears, said William H. Frey II, author of “Crying: The Mystery of Tears” and director of the Alzheimer’s Research Center at Regions Hospital in St. Paul.
Frey has witnessed many co-workers–old and young–cry at work. Once he saw a hospital administrator’s tears after a doctor berated her during a staff meeting. “He kept going until he noticed that from underneath her glasses, a few teardrops dropped,” Frey said.
The doctor apologized and accepted responsibility for the tirade. Nevertheless, crying still isn’t acceptable in some offices. When the waterworks must be stopped, Frey said there is only one way to curb crying: distraction.
Most people think looking at the ceiling or biting your lip can stop the tears. But Frey said those actions will only help if they distract you from the emotional moment. A better strategy, he said, would be to think of pleasant thoughts as your boss yells at you during a staff meeting.
But it may be harder for women than men to not cry on the job. Frey said women have more prolactin in the blood, a hormone found in both the female breast and tear gland that is believed to stimulate tears.
This gender difference starts around the age of 12. Before puberty, boys and girls cry the same amount. By adulthood, Frey said men cry on average 1.4 times a month while women shed tears four times as often.
Not crying on the job can be good for your office image but bad for a worker’s stress level. Stress triggers crying, and Frey said it’s a “survival skill” that helps humans manage tension. So heading into the bathroom or the parking lot for a private cry might be more helpful for long-term health. More than 73 percent of adults say they feel better after a cry, Frey said.