So what are you really saying? Not just with your words, but with your whole self. What are you saying with the way you stand, sit, tilt your head or fidget with your hands?
Many people don’t realize how what’s going on in one’s mind is expressed in the way one’s body moves. At an unconscious level, for better or worse, people inadvertently give away clues on how they feel through their gestures and posture.
“Eighty percent of communication is non-verbal, and it’s far more effective than verbal communication,” said clinical nurse specialist Lillian Buchanan. Buchanan trains nurses to more effectively interact with patients, families and other medical professionals.
Here are some examples of how your body communicates what’s really going on in your head:
Posture
More Top Picks Apple Airtag
Standing up straight says you’re confident and self-assured, while slouching may communicate elusiveness or a sense of low self-esteem.
Arm positioning/placement
“Crossed arms usually indicate dissatisfaction or unhappiness,” Lance said. They also can signal a feeling of vulnerability–a need to protect oneself. In a job interview, for example, find a comfortable position that doesn’t speak of your discomfort, Buchanan said. Make sure to watch for defensive body language. The goal is to positively engage the other person.
Hand movements
The way you move your hands provides clear insights into your emotional state, says Kim Lance, associate publisher of Online Dating Magazine. “Continually fidgeting with your hands, biting your nails and picking at things are telltale signs that you’re nervous or uncomfortable,” Lance said.
Facial expressions
Your face says more about how you’re really feeling than anything else. Calculating your facial expressions gives you control over how your emotions are interpreted by others. Think about the expression on your face. Is it consistent with the message you’re trying to communicate?
Eye movement/contact
When one glances up to the right, they’re pulling their thoughts from their memory, according to Buchanan. But if they glance up to the left, they are pulling their thoughts from their creativity. “This may mean that glancing up to the left may be construed as lying,” she said.
WATCH YOURSELF
Question close friends and family members about your habits; for example, cracking your knuckles, grinding your teeth or shuffling your feet.
You must first be aware that you do them. Then you can program yourself to avoid unconscious mannerisms that undermine the message you hope to communicate.
Before entering into various situations, thoroughly evaluate how you communicate.
Think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.