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player ready...The holiday season usually evokes a feeling of happiness, nostalgia and tradition. When you’ve lost a loved one, the holidays just don’t seem the same. Traditions–like attending a production of “A Christmas Carol” or decorating the Christmas tree –may be difficult to get through.
Anne Ryan, a social worker and adult bereavement counselor at Midwest Palliative & Hospice Care Center in Glenview, offers these tips, over e-mail, in coping with grief and loss during this time.
Have a backup plan. “Prepare yourself for last-minute changes by allowing yourself a `contingency plan’–permission to alter your holiday plans based on how you feel on the actual day.
“You may hope to feel sufficiently cheerful for a quiet dinner. But if this isn’t the case, you should be comfortable forgoing the gathering. Or, on the appointed day, you may want to join in some celebration. Flexibility without guilt is the key to a workable holiday plan.”
Revamp traditions. “Many families revisit their holiday rituals [after a loss]. You may find that some [traditions] may no longer be meaningful. Or you and your family may create new rituals–lighting a candle or offering a pre-dinner toast in memory of your loved one. There is no single correct way to observe a holiday.”
Balance time. “Both solitude and companionship may be helpful to you as you grieve. Time alone allows you to think and reflect. Time with understanding family and friends provides connection.”
Take it slow. “Take the time to care for yourself, whether by pampering yourself or simply slowing down your pace.”
Give, in memory. “Consider donating the money you would have spent on your loved one’s holiday gifts to a charity in his or her honor.”
Stay healthy. “Eat a nutritious diet, take time to exercise, get adequate sleep and avoid alcohol.”
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