One of my closest friends from high school is flying into Racine, Wis., for a business trip next week (he sells and repairs tractors for a living) and will be making a pit stop in Chicago to hang out with his old pal. He is keen to experience the “real” Chicago, which is why I scoffed at his eagerness for “real” deep-dish pizza.
MORNING
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A trip to Chicago is not complete without a stop at Hot Doug’s (3324 N. California Ave.; 773-279-9550), the self-proclaimed “Sausage Superstore and Encased Meat Emporium.” Thing is, the place is only open for 51/2 hours a day and closed Sundays, and lines are usually long. How long? First time I went there, I made the rookie mistake of arriving at 1 p.m. on a Saturday, and ended up waiting 90 minutes to order. So show up when it opens at 10:30 a.m. If you’re the adventurous type, the weekly game sausage special is worth trying, if just to say you’ve tried a rattlesnake or alligator hot dog. I’ll be sticking to the much-ballyhooed duck fat fries ($3.50), the marquee item Fridays and Saturdays. And though they don’t taste like duck, they’re incredibly rich, filling and might as well come with a roll of toilet paper and a rosary.
AFTERNOON
When I’m hopped up on potatoes and rendered duck fat, there’s nothing I like to see more than a penguin. My friend and I can burn off the excess calories at the Lincoln Park Zoo, which is (a) walking distance from my apartment, and (b) free. The Zoo Lights display is going on through the holiday season, and seeing how the sun is setting earlier in the day, there’s no better place to watch psychedelic light displays than in the midst of sea mammalians. There’s even a laser light show from 5 to 9 nightly (2001 N. Clark St.; 312-742-2000).
EVENING
After walking off the fries, we’re hungry again. So we head to the smokiest rib joint on the South Side, Lem’s Bar-B-Que House (311 E. 75th St.; 773-994-2428). You can smell it traveling along 75th Street. Inside are bulletproof glass and metal grates — the shack has more character than a Chinese dictionary. The highlight is the rib tips, which have a crispy crust, the meat smoky and tender. The heady sauce is slathered on with a mop, sloppy and sticky, right on top of the (and this is where the day comes full circle) bread and fries.