You ran out of hors d’oeuvres an hour ago and now your party guests are searching the cabinets for something to eat. You’re also out of ice, and nobody is buying that line about this beer tasting better warm. Not that you have time to care about ice and food–you’re too busy pulling Spot off horrified guests.
Yes, it’s that partying time of year again, a time when we all wonder, in the midst of hosting our own fete, why on earth does anybody throw a party? We don’t know the answer to that, but we do have other answers: solutions to 10 classic party dilemmas–five for holiday soirees, five for those other problem get-togethers–that might make the big night just a little smoother. Featuring the cast of “The Awesome 80s Prom.”
1. HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE
DILEMMA: Help! I invited 100 of my nearest and dearest friends to my holiday open house, but I have no idea how many will actually show up. How much food, alcohol and ice do I need?
SOLUTION: Expect a crowd, says Steve McDonagh of The Hearty Boys Caterers (773-244-9866) and, most recently, of the new Food Network show, “Party Line With Dan and Steve,” which was just picked up for another 26 episodes.
The rule of thumb for parties–that 80 percent of your invited guests will show up–doesn’t really hold true for holiday parties, McDonagh says.
“During the holidays, our clients will invite 40 but end up with 60 or 80,” he says. Especially in the city, where friends go out with a group and stop in at a number of parties.
“When it comes to the amount of food, always have more [not] less,” McDonagh says. But don’t worry too much about running out of food, especially by the end of the night. “If, at 10 p.m., you are just down to the cheese and veggies, people kind of expect it.”
When planning what to serve, think about what will stretch to accommodate all of those extra, unexpected stomachs. Don’t go overboard with quick-to-disappear two-bite hors d’oeuvres. Instead, McDonagh suggests cheeses, tarts, veggies, focaccia pizzas–all of which go a lot further and wind up being less expensive.
Above all, don’t run out of liquor (“Just get too much liquor”) or skimp on ice. Hosts “think they can just get away with one bag and then they lose out on 30 minutes of their own party making ice runs,” he says. “We’ve all done it.”
McDonagh’s tip: Buy about one or two pounds of ice per guest. And count on getting the higher end of that estimate if you’re making martinis.
TRY THIS: Overbuying alcohol is many a man’s dream party assignment. Head to Binny’s Beverage Depot, locations in the city and suburbs, www.binnys.com, or Sam’s Wines & Spirits, locations in both Chicago and Downers Grove, www.samswine.com, both of which will let you return any unopened bottle of alcohol if the label is intact. So if guests don’t drink all the booze, you’ll get your money back (though they may charge a small restocking fee). And both Binny’s and Sam’s have experts happy to help you figure out what to buy, and how much.
And for a rough idea of how much food and drink to put out, Amy True, owner of Elgin-based True Helpers, Inc., suggests that for evening parties without dinner, count on serving 10 to 15 one-bite hors d’oeuvres per guest. So if you’re expecting 150 guests, that’s between 1,500 and 2,250 bites for the night.
Plan on serving one drink per hour per person, and buy about a third each of hard liquor, beer and wine, and soda and water, True says.
2. CHRISTMAS DINNER
DILEMMA: My two dogs bark at guests and beg for food incessantly. What do I do about my annoying, admittedly slightly scary pets on Christmas Eve, when 20 of my relatives are scheduled to show up for dinner?
SOLUTION: Oh, if only you had thought of this a few months ago, you could have trained Cujo to act like an angel around guests, come when called and go to his crate during parties.
But you didn’t. So now what?
“[Dogs] don’t need to go to the party,” says Jennifer Boznos, owner of Call of the Wild School for Dogs. “Manage the situation and confine the dogs in a bedroom or in a crate or someplace. Or get a friend to watch them or kennel them.” (Boznos’ Web site, www.callofthewildschool. com, gives tips on how to get your dog into the crate on cue.)
Even well-trained dogs are better off away from guests, who can subvert training by slipping a juicy drumstick to your pet under the table, Boznos says.
“It is difficult to manage guests and dogs,” she says. “If you have 20 people and you are serving dinner, you can’t work on the guests, the dinner and the dog.” And your guests should be your priority.
TRY THIS: Thinking twice about letting your Labs hang with the guests? Board them at Dogs Day Inn, 1719 W. Wrightwood Ave., 773-868-4001 ($40 per night per dog for the first dog, discounts for additional dogs); Yuppy Puppy, Inc., 970 North Shore Drive, Lake Bluff, 847-234-6200 ($48 per night per dog); or Dogone Fun!, 1717 S. State St., 312-765-9364 ($40 per night for the first dog, discounts for additional pups). All three even offer pick-up and drop-off service, so you don’t have to think about your table settings and transporting Cujo.
To train your dog in time for next year, bring the rowdy pup to Call of the Wild School for Dogs, 3027 N. Rockwell St., 773- 539-1088. The school’s next eight-week basic obedience class ($250) starts Dec. 7.
3. NEW YEAR’S EVE DINNER
DILEMMA: I’m hosting a New Year’s Eve dinner party this year but I have no idea when to serve dinner. Serve it too early and the crowd lapses into a food coma before midnight. Serve it too late and everyone is wandering around starving. What’s the best time to serve dinner on New Year’s Eve?
SOLUTION: “The main event of the party is going to be the meal, so you need to start it late and you want to finish up at, say, 11 p.m.,” says McDonagh, who also runs a restaurant with partner Dan Smith, HB: A Hearty Boys Spot (3404 N. Halsted St., 773-661-0299). “I would pass hors d’oeuvres at 8 p.m., sit down at 9 p.m., and do a slow, leisurely dinner until 11.”
And this isn’t the time for a buffet. “You need to do a plated dinner. I would make everything much more upscale and elegant,” he says. “Start with a soup–there is something about starting with a soup that makes it feel more festive.”
Serve a plated dessert and offer coffee, but don’t push it on your guests. “Coffee signals the end of the evening and the evening is not done,” he says. “But you can’t do a nice plated dinner and then not offer coffee.”
So make those coffees a little more festive. “Pull out the brandy that you’ve had in your cabinet since the ’80s and do those coffee drinks.”
And then, as the stroke of midnight nears, break out the champagne.
TRY THIS: To make the dinner truly elegant (and to leave the timing up to someone else), hire servers for the night to pass hors d’oeuvres, take care of the meal and even clean up after the party is over. Experts at staffing companies estimate you’ll need two or three servers for a plated sit-down dinner for 20. Most require you to hire staffers for a minimum of four or five hours.
Call early–these companies book up for big nights. Check out True Helpers Inc., 1554 Todd Farm Drive, Elgin, 847-429-0265, www.truehelpersinc.com ($60 per hour per server on holidays); Service Is Us Inc., 5347 N. Clark St., 773-784-2225, www.serviceisus.com ($33.75 per hour per server on holidays); and Elegant Event Staffing, 4139 N. Olcott Ave., Norridge, 708-395-7004, www.eleganteventstaffing.com ($42 per hour for the first server on New Year’s Eve, $39 per hour for additional servers).
4. THANKSGIVING
DILEMMA: I accidentally added spoiled milk to my mashed potatoes and burned the pumpkin pie. My Thanksgiving guests are supposed to arrive in 10 minutes. What can I do?
SOLUTION: “Short of ordering out, not much,” McDonagh says.
Sometimes disaster is just going to strike and there’s nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately, there’s no magic way to whip up a turkey in 10 minutes. But don’t stress; you’re with friends and family.
“What is a disaster that day turns into years of comedy,” McDonagh says. “It is all part of our history. … If things go wrong, you do takeout and you are still together. I mean, it’s dinner.”
TRY THIS: Sure, it’s just dinner, but if you still want to salvage it, your local grocery store may be open with some rotisserie chickens left. Jewel, Dominick’s and Whole Foods Market are all open for at least part of Thanksgiving Day.
THANKSGIVING
5. OFFICE PARTY
DILEMMA: There’s going to be a DJ at my company’s annual office party. Do I dance with my boss or not? What kind of dancing is appropriate?
SOLUTION: “Absolutely, you can dance with your boss,” says business image and etiquette consultant Jill Bremer, owner of Bremer Communications in Oak Park.
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But be very, very careful about it. Leave the bump and grind at the clubs. “You still want to maintain a little bit of space between you.”
And what if your boss asks you to dance and you don’t want to?
“You want to help the person save face,” Bremer says. So make up an excuse. “Bad shoes or something like that. Just try to do it politely.”
And don’t forget the cardinal rule of office party etiquette: Don’t get drunk.
“I would nurse one drink for the entire party,” Bremer says, “because you don’t want to be next week’s hot topic. You will be talked about for years. People have long memories.”
TRY THIS: You’ve been at the party 15 minutes and your first beer is already gone? So much for nursing one drink all night. Ask for one of these great, non-alcoholic drinks at the bar, recommended by Kim Goodletson-Khan, an instructor at the Professional Bartenders School in Chicago and Villa Park. Try a Candy Cane, which combines grenadine, peppermint extract and 7-UP. Or a Caribbean Cooler: Rose’s Mango drink mixer and 7-UP. And you can always ask the bartender to make you any daiquiri or pina colada without the alcohol–so at least you’ll look like you’re drinking the real thing.
6. BACHELOR PARTY
DILEMMA: How can I throw a fun bachelor party for a friend who hates golf, beer and anything to do with strippers?
SOLUTION: Forget about your stereotypical bachelor party and start thinking about your friend and his interests, suggests Seattle-based sex columnist Dan Savage.
“What does he like? Besides, one presumes, the girl he’s about to marry?” Savage writes in an e-mail. “I went to one bachelor party–a fundamentalist Christian’s bachelor party (don’t ask)–that consisted of mountain biking followed by pizza. And near-beer. Surely your friend enjoys something manly, even if he could care less about golf, beer, sports or strippers. Maybe you could all catch a Broadway show?”
In other words, get creative. There’s more to manhood than beer, sports and nudity.
TRY THIS: Like, for example, meat. Chow down at one of Chicago’s many steak-houses, such as Gibsons Steakhouse, 1028 N. Rush St., 312-266-8999 and 5464 N. River Road, Rosemont, 847-928-9900; Shula’s Steak House, 301 E. North Water St., 312-670-0788 and 400 Park Blvd., Itasca, 630-775-1499; or go Brazilian at Fogo de Chao, 661 N. LaSalle St., 312-932-9330.
Better yet, jet to The Adventurers Club, 555 N. Franklin St., 312-822-0991, for a night of poker with the groom-to-be in one of the club’s private party rooms.
And if you want to recreate Savage’s soiree, rent bikes from Bike Chicago (www.bikechicago.com) and head to Kettle Moraine State Forest-Southern Unit’s John Muir Trail, usually open for mountain biking from about mid-April to mid-February (it depends on the weather). Located north of LaGrange, Wis., the park is only about two hours from Chicago, and there’s even a special loop for less-experienced riders. (Call ahead for conditions, 262-594-6202, and trail pass info, 262-594-6200.)
7. KID’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
DILEMMA: My kid’s friends’ parents spend insane amounts of money on birthday parties. I don’t have that kind of cash. How do I throw a cool, cheap party that won’t embarrass my kid?
SOLUTION: Involve your kid in the planning and he or she will love the party no matter what it costs, says Elizabeth Roberts, deputy editor of Budget Living magazine.
The goal is to make the party personal, rather than impress a bunch of parents, and the first step is to pick a theme for the party with your child. Stumped? Visit www.birthdayexpress.com or www. partymakers.com for ideas.
Save cash by getting creative with invitations. Roberts’ niece sent out coded invites with a key on the back for a spy-themed party. They were memorable and inexpensive. Better yet, send out free on-line invitations using www.ecardica.com or www.evite.com, she suggests.
Once the kids are partying, you have to feed them, but don’t worry: “Kids like simple foods,” Roberts says. “You won’t wow them with foodie items.”
Cut sandwiches into shapes with cookie cutters. Or let kids make their own pizza–it’s less expensive than ordering in, takes up a lot of time (bonus!) and it’s more fun, too. (Skip the meal altogether by scheduling the party from 2 to 4 p.m. and serving just snacks and cake.)
“Kids are easy to please,” Roberts says. So don’t fret if the party isn’t magazine-ready. “You are trying to create fun, not something to be preserved for the ages.”
TRY THIS: For help in throwing a fun kid’s party on a budget, check out bankroll-preservers Party City, www.partycity.com and Factory Card & Party Outlet, www.factorycard.com, both with locations in the city and suburbs.
Theme-challenged? Here’s an idea: Throw a retro birthday party, complete with Jiffy Pop popcorn, the board game Clue, TV dinners and a viewing of the classic “Parent Trap.” (For more theme ideas, check out Ellen Warren’s shopping column.)
8. BACHELORETTE PARTY
DILEMMA: My biggest nightmare is a wild bachelorette party, yet that’s exactly what my best friend is planning. What do I do?
SOLUTION: Your best weapon against the wild bachelorette party (with horror upon horrors–male dancers!) is to subtly make it clear that kind of party would be a night-mare to you, says Carmen Heitz, etiquette guru and owner of www.TheEtiquetteSchool.com.
“Drop the hint that a veil-wearing, obscene-straw-sipping bachelorette party is not what you deem celebratory for a bride-to-be,” Heitz says. “Follow it by, ‘I know I would not be happy with that sort of celebration,'” just to lay it on thick.
And party givers take note: “When one celebrates another,” Heitz says, “the tone of the party must reflect the personality of the celebrated.”
TRY THIS: A spa day instead. Pamper her at Spa Space, 161 N. Canal St., 312-466-9585, www.spaspace.com, which will customize party packages to fit your group and budget.
She hates massages (crazy girl!) but loves a good meal? Fete it up at Moroc-can-themed Tizi Melloul, 531 N. Wells St., 312-670-4338, www.tizimelloul.com, which has a special, separate (pillow-filled) party room for groups.
Or, if she’s a sushi-lover, book one of the private tatami or shoji-screened rooms at Kamehachi, multiple locations in the city and suburbs, www.kamehachi.com.
And finally, if she’s not into pampering, pillows or sushi, but likes getting tipsy, hit Russian Tea Time Restaurant, 77 E. Adams St., 312-360-0000, where she can toast herself silly on house-flavored vodkas.
9. SURPRISE PARTY
DILEMMA: I want to throw a surprise party but the whole jumping-out-from-behind-the-couch thing is so dated. How can I throw a surprise party that will truly be surprising?
SOLUTION: Get creative and a little (OK, a lot) silly. Position guests along an “L” route on the way to the final party destination and have them get on the same car as you and the guest of honor, as if by coincidence. Once the entire group is on the train, yell “Surprise!” (This one’s a bit of a logistical nightmare, but with a little planning, the ruse is well worth it.)
Don’t want to depend on the CTA for fun? Have each of your guests rent gorilla suits and, when the guest of honor arrives, appear out of nowhere, giving the birthday boy a good scare before yelling the gorilla word for “Surprise!”
Admittedly, these are elaborate schemes that require timing. So what if the guest of honor is always late?
Etiquette guru Carmen Heitz suggests a buddy system. “Invite a mutual friend to escort the birthday person to the party location at the ‘right time,'” Heitz says. “In other words, you are supposedly inviting two mutual friends–or so the birthday person thinks–to that location.”
TRY THIS: Want to rent a gorilla costume, or two, or 15? Check out Lost Eras, 1511 W. Howard St., 773-764-7400, www.losteras.com, which rents all kinds of gorilla costumes, from the most basic at $40 a night to more “deluxe” ones for $55 a night.
10. BABY SHOWER
DILEMMA: After my baby shower I realized I have no clue what one guest gave me! What on earth should I say on my thank-you note? Help!
SOLUTION: No worries, reassures etiquette expert Heitz. Pull out your blank thank-you note and write a variation on the following: “Many thanks for your lovely gift. I enjoyed you being able to share such a special day with me!”
And by all means, don’t skip sending one. Adding a few personal lines can go a long way toward making what may seem like a generic message more intimate.
TRY THIS: For thank-you notes so dazzling your aunt won’t even notice you forgot what she gave you, check out Paper Boy, 1351 W. Belmont Ave., 773-388-8811; Helanders Stationers, 248 Market Square, Lake Forest, 847-234-3900; The Paper Merchant, 328 S. 3rd St., Geneva, 630-232-1880, or Papyrus, multiple locations, www.papyrusonline.com.
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And next time, ask a reliable friend or relative to be your trusty scribe.
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“The Awesome 80s Prom”
Where: RadioStar, 901 Weed St.
When: Through Dec. 31
How much: $39-$69
More info: Call 312-664-7766 or visit www.awesome80sprom.com
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