What’s the best part about Chicago’s fastest-growing sports game show?
If you line up outside in the cold for Five on Five, we guarantee we’ll let you read us.
JIMMY GREENFIELD
TOPIC 1: JIMMY’S BEEN OUT A WEEK. WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE LAST SEVEN DAYS?
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Getting off the bus in Albuquerque, relieved my wedding would be postponed.
TOPIC 2: IF YOU COULD HARNESS CARLOS ZAMBRANO’S TEMPER, WHAT COULD IT POWER?
A 50,000-watt punk-rock station. Call letters? KILL.
TOPIC 3: THE BEARS ARE LOOKING AT KICKERS. YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS, PLEASE.
Silly Bears, kicks are for kids!
TOPIC 4: HOW CAN KERRY WOOD SPEND HIS NEWFOUND DOWNTIME?
Shoulder shopping.
TOPIC 5: TOM CRUISE DATING KATIE HOLMES REMINDS YOU OF …
… Michael Jackson marrying Lisa Marie Presley.
PHIL THOMPSON
TOPIC 1: JIMMY’S BEEN OUT A WEEK. WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE LAST SEVEN DAYS?
Shedding of back hair has decreased 30 percent. If only Leo and Whizzer took time off too.
TOPIC 2: IF YOU COULD HARNESS CARLOS ZAMBRANO’S TEMPER, WHAT COULD IT POWER?
Tara Reid’s vibrating bed?
TOPIC 3: THE BEARS ARE LOOKING AT KICKERS. YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS, PLEASE.
David Beckham. He’s a soccer guy, and this place could use some style.
TOPIC 4: HOW CAN KERRY WOOD SPEND HIS NEWFOUND DOWNTIME?
Something restful like golf or jai alai.
TOPIC 5: TOM CRUISE DATING KATIE HOLMES REMINDS YOU OF …
… Anna Kournikova dating half the NHL before she could vote.
LEO EBERSOLE
TOPIC 1: JIMMY’S BEEN OUT A WEEK. WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE LAST SEVEN DAYS?
I think it was being able to pick my nose and wipe it on his chair.
TOPIC 2: IF YOU COULD HARNESS CARLOS ZAMBRANO’S TEMPER, WHAT COULD IT POWER?
Kiss concert–more proof it’s unhealthy to throw tantrums like that.
TOPIC 3: THE BEARS ARE LOOKING AT KICKERS. YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS, PLEASE.
Two rules: No kickers with peg legs and no kickers named “Grammatica.”
TOPIC 4: HOW CAN KERRY WOOD SPEND HIS NEWFOUND DOWNTIME?
He can hone his control by playing darts. And probably tear a rotator cuff.
TOPIC 5: TOM CRUISE DATING KATIE HOLMES REMINDS YOU OF …
… gagging.
WHIZZER
TOPIC 1: JIMMY’S BEEN OUT A WEEK. WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE LAST SEVEN DAYS?
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Using satellite telemetry to track his repeated visits to the underpass Virgin Mary.
TOPIC 2: IF YOU COULD HARNESS CARLOS ZAMBRANO’S TEMPER, WHAT COULD IT POWER?
My golf cart.
TOPIC 3: THE BEARS ARE LOOKING AT KICKERS. YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS, PLEASE.
You familiar with The Rockettes? Third from the left.
TOPIC 4: HOW CAN KERRY WOOD SPEND HIS NEWFOUND DOWNTIME?
He may attend weddings. He may not do the “Chicken Dance.”
TOPIC 5: TOM CRUISE DATING KATIE HOLMES REMINDS YOU OF …
… the American version of Tom Cruise dating Penelope Cruz.
BAG BOY
TOPIC 1: JIMMY’S BEEN OUT A WEEK. WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE LAST SEVEN DAYS?
Which one’s Jimmy again?
TOPIC 2: IF YOU COULD HARNESS CARLOS ZAMBRANO’S TEMPER, WHAT COULD IT POWER?
A future six-year, $90 million deal with the Yankees.
TOPIC 3: THE BEARS ARE LOOKING AT KICKERS. YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS, PLEASE.
Someone who won’t break my heart. Elton John, maybe.
TOPIC 4: HOW CAN KERRY WOOD SPEND HIS NEWFOUND DOWNTIME?
Watch the Cardinals run away with NL Central.
TOPIC 5: TOM CRUISE DATING KATIE HOLMES REMINDS YOU OF …
… Doug Flutie signing with the Patriots.