Didn’t have any time to check my teeth for stray bits of spinach.
Didn’t have any time to check my personality for stray bits of angst.
I was running late and had already yelled at my kids, and my husband too. Lots of negative energy despite the beautiful weather.
But I didn’t want to mess up when I met Tim Sanders, author of “The Likeability Factor: How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life’s Dreams.”
What if he didn’t like me?
Sanders, who also wrote the best-selling “Love Is the Killer App,” believes that likable people get ahead. If they are CEOs, their companies get ahead. If they are middle managers, their departments hum with contentment and industry. Success and happiness stem from likability. A “leadership coach” at Yahoo Inc., Sanders travels the country giving speeches about likability, or your L-Factor. The way to be liked, according to his book, is to start by being friendly.
More Top Picks Easy Halloween Party Snacks For School Kids Will Love
So walking to meet him, I practiced by saying hello to strangers on the street.
Sanders calls this a “positive feedback loop.” The more he likes people, the better he feels. The better he feels, the more people like him. The more people like him, the better his work goes. Round and round.
When it came time to meet, we smiled.
We crinkled our eyes warmly. He shook my hand and put his hand on my arm.
I asked Sanders what to do if the boss doesn’t have a high likability score.
He didn’t hesitate: “Quit your job if your boss is unlikable, because you are going to get sucked down with him.”
If you can’t quit, he said, vow not to “deliver negative energy.” Instead, try to find something to like about your boss. Praise him for being likable and be willing, kindly, to challenge him when he’s not.
Likability, Sanders said, can be learned.
“Every day we have this chance to participate in the end of suffering,” he said. “Likable people … don’t contribute to it.”
While I was with Sanders, he was nice to everyone, and everyone was nice to him.
Isn’t all that likability exhausting?
Sanders admits that sometimes in traffic at home in San Jose, Calif., “someone will cut me off.” Finger-waving occasionally ensues.
“It’s hard for me to carry the friendliness experience into work when I’ve had a road-rage experience,” he said.
As it turned out, Sanders and I ended up spending about two hours together.
Did he like me? I was tempted to ask.
But I didn’t.
———-
Edited by Tran Ha ([email protected]) and alBerto Trevino ([email protected])