Mike North from “The Mike North Morning Show” on WSCR-AM 670 joins us on Wednesdays; fans get their chance to join us on Fridays. Got what it takes? Just e-mail [email protected].
JIMMY GREENFIELD
TOPIC 1: HOW LONG WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR KERRY WOOD TO BE GREAT?
Until about a year after his next arm surgery.
TOPIC 2: ARE YOU CONVINCED THE WHITE SOX ARE FOR REAL?
Any team can go 9-4 during the course of a season. So that would be no.
TOPIC 3: WILL “MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL” BE THE SAME ON ESPN?
This is cable, right? Now we can see Nicollette Sheridan’s front.
TOPIC 4: WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RED SOX FAN CHRIS HOUSE?
Nothing. He did nothing wrong. The Red Sox caved to pressure.
TOPIC 5: PLEASE SEND A GET-WELL WISH TO RONNIE “WOO WOO” WICKERS.
May you have a speedy recovery, and may your nurses have earplugs.
PHIL THOMPSON
TOPIC 1: HOW LONG WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR KERRY WOOD TO BE GREAT?
Everyone just lay off Kerry. For one thing, he might break something.
TOPIC 2: ARE YOU CONVINCED THE WHITE SOX ARE FOR REAL?
They have to be. Otherwise, that would mean Chicago baseball has been a never-ending bad dream.
TOPIC 3: WILL “MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL” BE THE SAME ON ESPN?
Knowing ESPN, they’ll hire Hank Williams Jr. as a sideline reporter.
TOPIC 4: WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RED SOX FAN CHRIS HOUSE?
He shaves when Johnny Damon shaves. Good luck, Christofur.
TOPIC 5: PLEASE SEND A GET-WELL WISH TO RONNIE “WOO WOO” WICKERS.
If only some onlooker had said, “Woo, there it is!”
LEO EBERSOLE
TOPIC 1: HOW LONG WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR KERRY WOOD TO BE GREAT?
To quote the ancient proverb: Trade him for a lights-out closer.
TOPIC 2: ARE YOU CONVINCED THE WHITE SOX ARE FOR REAL?
Yes, but I’m also convinced their pitching staff is on real shaky ground.
TOPIC 3: WILL “MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL” BE THE SAME ON ESPN?
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Nothing’s the same. I went to a Cubs game, and everyone was using portable phones. Crazy!
TOPIC 4: WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RED SOX FAN CHRIS HOUSE?
Gary Sheffield gets to keep his arm as a back-scratcher.
TOPIC 5: PLEASE SEND A GET-WELL WISH TO RONNIE “WOO WOO” WICKERS.
Get well soon. These bullpen collapses just aren’t the same without you.
MIKE NORTH
TOPIC 1: HOW LONG WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR KERRY WOOD TO BE GREAT?
Let’s just hope for pleasantly mediocre.
TOPIC 2: ARE YOU CONVINCED THE WHITE SOX ARE FOR REAL?
Is there a doubt?
TOPIC 3: WILL “MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL” BE THE SAME ON ESPN?
It will be better because now we can see commercials for Bow Flex.
TOPIC 4: WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RED SOX FAN CHRIS HOUSE?
Being stuck in the rear with one of Sheffield’s steroid needles.
TOPIC 5: PLEASE SEND A GET-WELL WISH TO RONNIE “WOO WOO” WICKERS.
Look out (woo!) for the car (woo!) get better soon (woo, woo!).
BAG BOY
TOPIC 1: HOW LONG WILL WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR KERRY WOOD TO BE GREAT?
Come on, he’s only 27. Jesus, he’s 27? That boy ain’t right.
TOPIC 2: ARE YOU CONVINCED THE WHITE SOX ARE FOR REAL?
I’m not even convinced I’m for real.
TOPIC 3: WILL “MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL” BE THE SAME ON ESPN?
It will be exactly the same. Still no Bears.
TOPIC 4: WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT FOR RED SOX FAN CHRIS HOUSE?
Give him season tickets to Cubs games.
TOPIC 5: PLEASE SEND A GET-WELL WISH TO RONNIE “WOO WOO” WICKERS.
Feel better my good man. You’ll woo again in no time.