At first glance, these two have about as much in common as a trailer park in the South and a flower bed on Michigan Avenue. But upon further inspection, it’s clear that they’re just two strange peas in the same crazy pod. Let’s see who really puts the “spring” into our step.
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CHICAGO CONNECTION
Jerry Springer
“The Jerry Springer Show” is filmed at the NBC Tower. Springer also graduated from Northwestern’s law school in 1968.
Spring in Chicago
Spring is the mythological season that hits Chicago after winter and before summer. Few, however, have actually seen it here.
WINNER: Springer. How can he lose to something that barely exists? (Don’t answer that.)
DURATION
Jerry Springer
Shows last one hour, although if you have TiVo you can watch the madness for, like, forever.
Spring in Chicago
Technically, the calendar says three months. But we all know it usually lasts about three days.
WINNER: Spring. Three is more than one. Look it up if you don’t believe us.
LEADS INTO
Jerry Springer
“Starting Over” and “Texas Justice.”
Spring in Chicago
Summer.
WINNER: Spring. “Texas Justice”? Come on.
TYPICAL OUTBURST
Jerry Springer
You ain’t nothin’ but a (bleep), you stupid (bleepin’ bleep).
Spring in Chicago
Great. More (bleepin’) rain. Just what I wanted.
WINNER: Springer. Because we (bleepin’) said so.
CHANCES OF NUDITY
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Jerry Springer
You can pretty much bet the house that someone will be ripping off a shirt–or two–during the show.
Spring in Chicago
Don’t count on anyone going topless around here this time of year. Except maybe a few drunk fans at a baseball game.
WINNER: Push. Nude trailer trash or nude people without a tan. Pick your poison.
SINGING PRAISES
Jerry Springer
“Jerry Springer: The Opera” opened at a London theater in 2003. The show’s U.S. debut has been held up because of protests from religious groups.
Spring in Chicago
The revival of the musical “Chicago” opened on Broadway in 1996 and was made into a smash Hollywood movie that took home six Oscars in 2003.
OVERALL WINNER: Tough, tough call. But we’ve got to go with spring in Chicago. It’s been around way longer and is a reminder that summer is just around the corner.