Parents of a new baby are especially stressed during the first six weeks, says Dana Dubinsky, a senior editor at babycenter.com. “The physical demands are so overwhelming. It gets much easier, but it’s hard to see that while you’re in the middle of it. That’s why it’s so hard to ask for help.”
So don’t wait for new parents in your life to ask. Besides dropping off food and running errands, here, from Dubinsky, are other gifts of time you can offer:
If it’s their first baby, parents are learning new skills, such as diapering or bathing. You pros, offer to help. “It’s hard to bathe a newborn for the first time if they don’t have someone to help.”
Think chores. “I’ve heard of groups in which somebody makes a list of chores that need to be done. Put this list in a jar and when people visit, they can pull something out of the jar.”
Offer to take pictures of the baby. “Parents always want tons of pictures. Ask if they want you to come over and take them. Then you could put them online, get them developed or mail or e-mail them.” Or help with birth announcements. “You could offer to address the envelopes and stamp them.”
Hold the baby. “Some brand-new moms are really reluctant to let others hold the baby. But three weeks down the line, they may be happy to have you hold the baby so they can take a shower. And if the baby is colicky, it just screams all the time. Then they need someone to hold the baby while they get out of the house for a bit.”
Walk with them. “Helping Mom get out of the house is a good gift. Help her get the baby in the stroller and take a walk around the block.”
Whatever you do, don’t hesitate to ask. “In these days of voice mail, don’t worry about disturbing them. Don’t call just during the first week, and don’t just ask if you can help. Give them specific choices, such as, “Would you rather I delivered a home-cooked meal or did your laundry?”
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On the radio
New parents, tell Kathy and Judy what kind of help you crave. Tune in between 9 a.m. and noon Monday on WGN-AM 720.
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