Although the ski season is over for most of us, the following tips are timeless and may help you avoid humiliation:
Sloping portable toilets and snow-covered ski boots are an unfortunate combination. You’ll find there isn’t much room to maneuver while your feet slip out from under you, banging against the door, and your arms wildly windmill. (This raises the question: How well are portable toilets anchored to the ground?)
Don’t let your mind wander when the chair is approaching. You’ll be knocked on your keister and then have to wait for the lift to restart, while sensing that a long line of delayed skiers would like to lock you in a portable toilet.
Ski poles are multipurpose tools to be used with care. A chair-lift acquaintance told us how she and her husband like to bury their lunch and cans of soft drink in the snow in the morning. One day, she recounted, they kept digging and digging but couldn’t find their provisions.
She starting poking the snow vigorously with her ski poles. Then she speared one of the soda cans and sent cola spewing into the snow. The upside: Without any soda to drink, she wouldn’t need a portable toilet.