Yeah, I’m still down here in St. Louis. Broke, scared, an unable to move on. Tried to hitchhike home, but the orange bag is some kind of deterrent.
Look, I know this story is old, but there’s a lesson. Never believe the hype. Never believe a team is “special” until it wins it all. Illinois, you were good. But, you broke my heart, Fredo. You broke my heart.
I blame the orange blazer. Never trusted that thing. It’s too loud and not unlike the yellow tux with ruffles at the 1982 junior/senior prom at Homewood Flossmoor High School.
I didn’t go there, but something about that place tells me there was a dude walking around in one of those tuxes. Tony Orlando called; he wants his 1977 wardrobe back.
Onward. Illinois was fun to watch, very well coached and just not good enough to beat the NBA team that is North Carolina, which now owns third place in the NBA’s Eastern Conference. They’ve got San Antonio at home Saturday. Enjoy.
For those wondering, I never sold the kidney and decided to just watch it in a bar.
You know what St. Louis is? It’s the Boston of the Midwest. And I’ve always felt that Baltimore is the Milwaukee of the east. And Milwaukee, when you think of it, is Milwaukee anywhere you put it.
I will move on again, but I am still haunted by visions of Luther Head missing that 3 to tie it.
So maybe I don’t move on just yet. Because if this were a friggin’ movie getting test-screened, audiences would scream “Illinois is supposed to win!” And everyone would have to schlep out to L.A. for a reshoot. And Jimmy Chitwood nails the shot! And Gene Hackman says “I love you guys.”
But life ain’t no movie.
Baseball season. Sigh. Breathe. Continue.
The Cubbies hover around .500, and they are still irked at Stoney. Great. Call me when you grow up. Better yet, pass me a note at recess.
The Bulls lose Luol Deng for the rest of the season. I told you.
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Jeromy Burnitz thinks he’s no Sammy Sosa. Thanks for telling us. And Corey Patterson? He’s no Vladmir Guerrero. He might not even be Karl “Tuffy” Rhodes.
Ah, you get the picture here. Spring has sprung, and so have my kidneys.
Maybe I should have sold them after all.
–BAG BOY VENTS HIS SPLEEN EVERY FRIDAY IN REDEYE.
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Edited by the sports staff of RedEye