Let’s be straight here: Eating desserts is too much work. With all the effort it takes to actually chew your food, having a sweet is hardly a treat. Fortunately, Starbucks and Krispy Kreme each have their own drinkable desserts: the chocolatey new Chantico and the liquid-doughnut-in-a-cup Kaffe Kreme. Which one is more delicious?
PUSHING THE ENVELOPE
Starbucks’ Chantico.
Starbucks swears the Chantico isn’t hot chocolate, but rather drinking chocolate, practically a melted bar.
Krispy Kreme’s Kaffe Kreme.
Mixing espresso with the famous glazed doughnut flavor, the Kaffe Kreme is the most Americanized Italian product since Chef Boyardee’s Beefaroni.
WINNER: Kaffe Kreme. Mmmm doughnuts.
SNOB FACTOR
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Starbucks’ Chantico.
Named after “the Aztec goddess of hearth and fire,” Starbucks modestly proclaims that to describe the Chantico “could deplete the world of adjectives.”
Krispy Kreme’s Kaffe Kreme.
So cool, Krispy Kreme purposely misspelled “caffe” (Italian word for coffee) to match its company name–for alliteration.
WINNER: Chantico. Fancy name, overpriced. This drink seems poised to take the place of Frappuccinos in the manicured hands of A-list celebs.
BANG FOR YOUR BUCK
Starbucks’ Chantico.
A 6-ounce cup will set you back 3 bucks. Sure the chocolate’s rich, but that asking price is just plain greedy.
Krispy Kreme’s Kaffe Kreme.
$2.49, for, get this, 12 whole ounces.
Score!
WINNER: Kaffe Kreme. More is always better: witness the Super Big Gulp.
STRAIGHT TO YOUR THIGHS
Starbucks’ Chantico.
Those 6 ounces pack in a gargantuan 390 calories, proving that supersizing can come from small packages.
Krispy Kreme’s Kaffe Kreme.
There’s no official calorie count for the Kaffe, but the 12-ounce is around the 500 mark.
WINNER: Chantico. Sure the drink’s a fatty-mc-fat-fat, but do you think you’re strong enough to visit Krispy Kreme and not also eat a 200-calorie original glazed?
THE TABLE TEST
Starbucks’ Chantico.
If you spill a drop of Chantico on the table and shake it, the puddle of chocolate just … won’t … move.
Krispy Kreme’s Kaffe Kreme.
While the Kreme contains a splash of doughnut frosting, it primarily consists of steamed milk, so light can still escape from its surface.
WINNER: Chantico. Just try to sip this baby without any water to cut it.
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OVERALL WINNER: Chantico. Sure it’s pretentious, expensive and fattening, but we can’t dis a beverage diva.