Psychologist Mark O’Connell may not have much to teach the experienced dad in “The Good Father: On Men, Masculinity, and Life in the Family” (Scribner, $25).
Aside from constant talk of men not losing any of their masculinity while being a father–especially in today’s I’m-your-buddy/I’m-your-pal/kids-are-lit tle-adults parenting movement–only first-time dads will glean insight from this book.
O’Connell throws in various $10 words and phrases: “psychological dimension,” “neurobiology,” “inductive discipline,” “fatherlessness.” That last one describes O’Connell, who spends lots of space lamenting how the death of his father when O’Connell was 5 colored his relationships with his own three kids.
Far more interesting are the stories about some of O’Connell’s patients, who have dealt with their own demons when relating to their loved ones. The empathy you feel for them will tug at your heart.
On sparing the rod: “Children can feel their parents’ meaning and intent through a wide variety of interactions–a fully present gaze, the sharpness of deeply felt words, a strong hand on the shoulders coupled with a direct look in the eyes–all of which and more are experienced through the body as well as the mind.”