RETRO CHEAPSKATE
Born at the wrong time into a hardly-wealthy-enough family? Not inclined to woo your date with such a 21st Century concoction as the $20 Bellini martini? We don’t blame you. So get in our way-back machine and enjoy this Saturday evening retro date. Some may call it cheap; we prefer time-tested.
5 p.m.: Get out the legwarmers, pull on those stirrup pants and peg your jeans–we’re going roller skating, 1980s style! The Martin Luther King Jr. Park and Family Entertainment Center (1219 W. 76th St., 312-747-2602) boasts bowling and arcade games, but only on its roller rink is it socially acceptable to stick your hand into your date’s back pocket.
Skate rental for two: $5
Public skate admission for two: $10
7 p.m.: Take it back one more decade to the ’70s, when fondue was all the rage and fat-free was just a twinkle in the diet industry’s eye. Since cheese fondue isn’t particularly sexy, let’s head straight to dessert at Melting Pot (609 N. Dearborn St., 312-573-0011), where chocolate fondue for two includes strawberries, bananas, pineapple, cheesecake, marshmallows, pound cake and brownies for dipping.
Chocolate fondue for two: $12
9 p.m.: To continue the decadence, let’s take a stroll down memory lane to the ’30s, shall we? The Drake Hotel’s Coq d’Or (140 E. Walton Place, 312-787-2200) opened for business the day after Prohibition was repealed in Chicago and is the perfect place to tip back a few classic cocktails and take in the live cabaret show. In keeping with our theme, order an Old Fashioned for you and yours (which the Drake makes with a cherry, slice of orange, sugar, ice, bourbon, a few dashes of bitters and a splash of water or soda water).
Two Old Fashioneds: $14.50
GRAND TOTAL: $41.50
— Allison Benedikt
(CADDY)SHACK UP
Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), the assistant greenskeeper in “Caddyshack,” hunted gophers as part of his job, often under the cover of darkness. One compensation for working late hours is the chance for a daytime date. In honor of Carl, here’s an in-expensive “Caddyshack” outing.
11 a.m.: Strolling toward the lake on Diversey Parkway you’ll cross Lake Shore Drive West and soon find the Diversey Driving Range (141 W. Diversey Pkwy., 312-742-7929; unofficial motto: “We have heated stalls.”). About 100 golf balls come in a large bucket and it’s OK to split them between two people. There you are, a Cinderella story, shooting for the Master’s championship. Thwack! IT’S IN THE HOLE! IT’S IN THE HOLE! So my dear, can I help you with your swing? Oh, you’ve heard that line? Rats.
One shared large bucket of golf balls: $10.50
Noon: Clubs bagged, it’s time to head west to Chipmunk’s Restaurant (438 W. Diversey Pkwy., 773-281-8060). A chipmunk isn’t quite a gopher, but would Carl really know that? Inside there’s a mural of a hot dog and burger dancing. Romance. Split two hot dogs, an order of fries and add two pops.
Two drinks, two hot dogs and fries: $6.20
1 p.m.: Back on Diversey, moving inland to Land-mark’s Century Centre Cinema (2828 N. Clark St., 773-509-4949) in time for a weekday bargain showing of
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou,” starring Bill Murray as a Jacques Cousteauesque oceanographer out for revenge against the shark that killed his part-ner. Order tickets online ($1 per ticket service charge) and still have money left over for two small pops, one medium popcorn and one box of Junior Mints.
Two online bargain tickets, plus snacks: $29.75
GRAND TOTAL: $46.45
— Michael Esposito
FIRE AND ICE, EVERYTHING NICE
Romance is all about heat–and when things get too hot, cooling off. Try our Saturday afternoon of fire and ice in the Loop.
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Noon: Might as well spice things up right away. There’s lots of hot, hot, hot in the New Orleans-style cooking at Heaven on Seven, the hidden gem on the seventh floor of the Garland Building (111 N. Wabash Ave., 312-263-6443). Grab a seat at the counter and summon a couple of orders of jambalaya. If you need more heat, add a dash or two of hot sauce.
Jambalaya for two: $21.69
1 p.m.: Take a stroll down Wabash Avenue, between Washington and Madison Streets. This stretch is the venerable Jewelers Row, and there’s lots of ice on display. Stores like the Wabash Jewelers Mall (21 N. Wabash Ave.) have multiple vendors and thousands of gems. OK, not Cheap Date territory, but a girl’s gotta dream. And looking is free.
2 p.m.: Head over to Michigan Avenue for a different kind of ice. The McCormick Tribune Ice Rink is the wintertime jewel of Millennium Park (55 N. Michigan Ave.; 312-742-5222). Rent skates for $7 at the tent on the rink’s south end, and hit the ice for some spectacular city views. Very, very cool–and much cheaper than New York’s Rockefeller rink, we might add. Cheap Cheap Date: Bring your own skates, and skate for free.
Skate rental: $14
3:30 p.m.: It is winter in Chicago, so it’s probably time to get in out of the cold. Get warm and toasty with cups of hot chocolate ($2.59) at Cosi (116 S. Michigan Ave.; 312-263-6595). This location doesn’t have a fireplace, but it does serve Campfire S’Mores ($6.79). Roast marshmallows over a little flaming pot, put them on graham crackers, add chocolate and voila: heat.
Hot chocolates and S’Mores: $13.04
GRAND TOTAL: $48.73
— Linda Bergstrom
NERD LOVE
Do your friends think you’re a nerd? Did you always win the high school science fair? If so, you’re an egghead, and have we got a cheap date for you.
9 a.m.: How else would a proper egghead begin their day, except with an omelette? Try Tre Kronor (3258 W. Foster Ave., 773-267-9888), where the omelettes are delectable. It’s difficult to get that right blend of moist and firm without any runniness, but they do it beautifully, and will even make special ones for you. We like mushroom and tomato.
A pair of omelettes: $16
Noon: You continue the day on a high note, with a tour of the Argonne National Laboratory (9700 S. Cass Ave., Argonne, 630-252-2000). Know how you always hear about all that fancy stuff, such as hydrogen cells and whatnot, that will eliminate our dependence on fossil fuels? This is where they hang out. There is no better place for eggheads than this sprawling facility, which boasts the Advanced Photon Source, where they make the “fastest movies ever made of electron motion.” And hey, you can take a shuttle bus from the University of Chicago (where else?) to get there. The standard tour takes about an hour, though they can also give you a half-day tour if you’re really into Argonne. The usual stops are the Photon Source, ATLAS (a device used to demonstrate how atoms are put together), and Transportation Research, where the next generation of vehicles are being tested. Schedule tours at least five days in advance by e-mailing [email protected], or call 630-252-5562. Tours are free.
(If the egghead in you needs some physical activity, hit the Waterfall Glen Forest Preserve, which surrounds Argonne, and has hiking and cycling trails.)
4 p.m.: What does a thirsty egghead crave? Egg creams. Now, any real smarty pants knows that an egg cream no longer contains eggs or cream (milk, syrup and seltzer water these days), but the folks at Ada’s Famous Deli and Restaurant (14 S. Wabash Ave., 312-214-4282) will sell you a frothy, tasty one. Have some delicious grub while you’re there, and let all the knowledge that you gobbled up at Argonne soak in.
Two egg creams: $4
GRAND TOTAL: $20
— Kevin Williams
COLLEGE SWEETHEARTS
It’s nice to have things all laid out in a row when you go on a date–and Evanston boasts one of those adorable little strips along Central Street just west of Green Bay Road, not far from Northwestern University’s Ryan Field.
1 p.m.: Lunch at Prairie Joe’s (1921 Central St., 847-491-0391). Boasting an embarrassment of kitsch decor–with ’60s-era red-and-white vinyl booths and a stack of 8-track tapes by the likes of Tennessee Ernie Ford–Prairie Joe’s grill looks like it parachuted out of someone’s surfin’ paisley dream. Check out owner Aydin Dincer’s Lowrey Genie organ and mounted, stuffed shark and order two eggplant potato feta quesadillas ($8 each), then wash ’em down with fountain phosphates ($1.35 each).
Lunch: $18.70
2:30 p.m.: Head west from Prairie Joe’s and discover a bunch of cute shops worth noodling around in, vending everything from spices to folk instruments. One store that caught our eye was Urban Totem (1937 Central St., 847-733-7507), which, yes, has totem poles on display–along with other folk art specialties, antiques and oodles of chandeliers dangling from the ceiling. OK, so items like the $95 lacquered cigarette holder are officially outside the Cheap Date price range. But what does it cost to browse?
3:30 p.m.: By now you might be just a bit cold–and hankering for a dessert-type snack. Good thing that Tag’s Bakery and Pastry Shop (2010 Central Ave., 847-328-1200) is nearby. Around since 1937, Tag’s was doing brisk business the day we stopped by. Indulging here need not set you back wads of cash; order four cinnamon pecan biscotti (79 cents each) and warm up with two 12-oz. coffees (98 cents each). For the ultra cheap: 4-oz. coffee is free on Saturdays.
Biscotti and coffee: $5.12
GRAND TOTAL: $23.82
— Louis R. Carlozo
DON’T BE A PLAYER HATER
If you love to observe the games people play, try a thrifty Saturday night on the West Side.
5:30 p.m.: Catch a game on one of several televisions and enjoy “yeeros” and other cuisine at Greektown Gyros (239 S. Halsted St., 312-236-9310). Engage your fellow man in discussions of the Triangle Offense, the BCS and whether Dave Ulliott will go all in with a bluff and win on the flop.
Yeeros Market Plate (includes Greek salad and fries) and sodas for two: $14.62
7:30 p.m.: The live action and excitement continues at the United Center (really!). Your cheap seats won’t be close enough to throw a cup at a player, but you will at least be in the house where the struggling Chicago Bulls are finally seeing some light at the end of the basketball tunnel–having just enjoyed their first five-game winning streak since the Michael Jordan era.
Two nose-bleed seats: $20
10:30 p.m.: At 9 Muses (315 S. Halsted St., 312-902-9922), the not-trying-too-hard-to-be-trendy Greektown restaurant and bar that is heavily populated by Greek-Americans, you can get drinks, food and Tavli, a three-in-one Greek game that includes backgammon. Though language barriers can make learning the game a bit difficult, after a couple of Mythoses (Greek lager) you might figure it out.
Mythos for two: $9
GRAND TOTAL: $43.62
— Regina Robinson
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THE CLOSE DATER
A cheap date had best be close to home. For me, that’s a three-part expedition in and near Beverly, which also should fill the bill for folks in nearby Chicago neighborhoods and Evergreen Park. For everyone else, welcome (try to budget your $50 so you have gas money left over).
2 p.m.: If there’s enough snow to hide the grass, head to the Dan Ryan Woods at 87th Street and Western Avenue and take advantage of some of the Chicago area’s rare hilly terrain. The toboggan chutes are closed, but bring your sled, garbage can lid or unfolded cardboard box and get some exercise sliding down, then hiking back up the forest preserve’s slopes. Hours: 8 a.m. to sunset; no phone. Sledding is free.
4 p.m.: Now that you’ve worked up an appetite, head over to Top-Notch Beefburgers, 2116 W. 95th St., where it’s easy to regain any weight you might have worked off. Forget the diet for an afternoon and tuck into the deluxe quarter-pound burger, which comes with fries, lettuce, tomato and pickle. Add grilled onion for more delicious oleaginousness. Hypocrites wash all this down with a Diet Pepsi, but malts and shakes make a great old-school accompaniment. 773-445-7218.
Deluxe quarter-pound beefburger with cheese and a large shake: $7.80
Deluxe quarter-pound burger (without cheese) and large Diet Pepsi: $6.80
5:30 p.m.: Western Avenue is home to numerous bars between 99th Street and 119th Street on its west side (it’s dry on the east), so your choices are many. One good option is Cork & Kerry (10614 S. Western Ave., 773-445-2675). There’s a beer garden in nice weather, but during January, take a table along the wall and enjoy the Chicago memorabilia, which includes the front page of the Chicago Daily Tribune detailing the sinking of the Titanic. We chose two pints from the 20 beers on tap.
Two pints of beer: $8
GRAND TOTAL: $22.60
— Maureen Melvin Hart