Fat is not funny.
Especially when it leads to self-doubt and disgust.
And when those feelings show up in the bedroom, you get all kinds of dysfunction, from lack of desire, to performance difficulty, to avoiding sex altogether.
So it wasn’t a surprise when Duke University Medical Center reported last month on a study that showed obesity impairs the sex lives of overweight people.
“I could have told them that before they did the study,” laughs Ilisa Brumer, a 29-year-old who almost lost her boyfriend because of her excess weight.
Brumer, who is finishing her residency in psychology, lost nearly 90 pounds before she felt truly lovable and comfortable having sex with her boyfriend of three years.
“Not being comfortable within my own self, I didn’t want to be naked, without coverage or covers. It inhibits the whole experience.” Women, in particular, suffer when they don’t look like magazine models.
“There’s societal pressure, on women especially, for perceived ideal shape, desire and enjoyment,” said Dr. Martin Binks, one of the Duke study authors and a clinical psychologist and director of behavioral health at the Duke Diet & Fitness Center.
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Now a size 8, Brumer said she feels much better about her weight.
“It’s interesting how the mind works,” she said. “After losing that weight, I felt much more comfortable.”
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Edited by Cara DiPasquale ([email protected]) and Michael Morgan ([email protected])