Dear Canada,
I know we haven’t been the best of friends. All of us on this side of the border crack jokes at your expense and mock you to your face. We don’t really pay attention to you or let you sit with the other popular nation-states–it’s like 7th grade all over again, and that was a pretty ugly year, eh?
But really, now that this election is over, I think you should give us another chance. You’re a lot cooler than we realized. Progressive on gay marriage. Socially responsible when it comes to health care. Taxes are a bit high, but the drugs are cheap. You also speak French and have great Chinese food. Works for us.
So, do you have a spare room for a few years? We’re not sure we want to hang around here.
Our country re-elected President Bush on Tuesday, and while we’re hopeful that he will be the uniter he pledges to be, he spoke the same words four years ago after narrowly winning the race. Then he proceeded to lead according to his own vision as if the whole country had anointed him.
The margin was narrow again this year, but the nation seems even more divided. In John Kerry’s concession speech Wednesday, he talked about “the desperate need for unity,” but many of our friends talk about just plain desperation. It was an emotional race, with even co-workers and spouses choosing their political words carefully, and now the losers are in a funk.
Some of the Democrats we know are sulking, complaining, drinking .. and your name is coming up a lot. They want to come visit too. Any jobs available in Toronto?
Another motivator to move is the emphasis that emerged from the election on moral values. One-fifth of voters said it was the single issue that mattered most in choosing a candidate.
Nothing wrong with morality, except when it only allows for one, narrow, exclusionary view as opposed to, say, universal rules of human conduct. Twenty percent isn’t a mandate for action, but we wonder how relevant that is to a Republican U.S. House and Senate.
Meanwhile, American voters trounced the idea of gay marriage in 11 of 11 states where it was on the ballot. Seems to us you have this one mostly figured out too.
But we’re torn about heading north. It’s really cold. Also, if our country is so polarized, it’s important to stick around and keep up the debate. Look at the numbers: 51 percent for Bush and 48 percent for Kerry. Three percent doesn’t seem like much. Maybe an evenly divided country is actually a vibrant democracy where strong opinions feed a fierce national dialogue. Maybe it produces the necessary tension so more people’s needs are met. Is that possible?
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Bush also has a lot to prove in the next years. He’s been spending like a drunken sailor, Iraq is mission unaccomplished, and the world doesn’t like us very much. We’re hoping for a responsible leader who feels compelled to navigate this minefield with a more even hand.
But in the meantime, how about it?
We hope you have enough room. Nearly 16,000 Americans came to work for you two years ago, but we have 55 million friends who might want to drop by this time. Is refugee status an option? Two U.S. citizens who opposed the war defected earlier this year.
Anyway, this isn’t new for you. Americans headed your way during the Vietnam War in order to escape the draft. Hollywood takes over your cities all the time to use them as backdrops.
Also we promise to leave in 2008.
And we won’t hold Celine Dion against you anymore.
Anyway, France already said no. Wuss.
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