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player ready...Don’t expect Republican U.S. senate candidate Alan Keyes to keep his promises for six years when he can’t even make it for 24 hours.
I might be a little peeved.
Last week, the night before a GOP young professionals event, some Keyes campaign staffers assured me I would have the chance to talk with the Maryland import after his stump speech.
All the next day, I queried friends–What do you want to know about Dr. Keyes?–and read up on the man that state Republicans tapped as their bazillionth choice to replace the I’m-too-sexy-for-you Jack Ryan.
The punch line … you guessed already. An aide looked bemused when I asked how much time I’d have for the interview.
“We’re on our way to another engagement immediately after this,” he said by way of excuse. Then as soon as Keyes finished the talk, staff members whisked him out of the Lincoln Park bar.
Oh.
Miffed? Put out? Yeah. I’d figured the Keyes encounter would yield at least one small, column-worthy nugget.
The man is a reporter’s dream because he’s apt to make headlines at any moment. Jesus wouldn’t vote for Barack Obama! Homosexuals are selfish hedonists! I’m Marvin Gaye’s long-lost twin!
Now if the rumors are true, I actually saved myself from a lovely evening of being shouted down as an idiot by the Harvard-educated talk show host.
But as it turned out, I didn’t need one-on-one QT with Keyes to get a flavor for what he’s about. He picked up the mic and immediately starting taking questions from the crowd, which gave him ample opportunity to deliver his best-known material:
Blacks are to slavery as babies are to abortion. Income tax should be abolished for all Americans. Democrats want poor people to stay poor. The country was founded on God and religion.
“You can’t just live for yourself,” he told the crowd, speaking with the easy cadence expected of a media personality.
Then he downshifted into his pulpit voice.
“I think the fundamental deficit in this country is a moral one!”
Yes, this was the Alan Keyes I’d read about.
The evening was billed as a GOP networking event for young professionals who liked a little beer with their presidential politics. The crowd, there to focus on the Bush-Cheney ticket, seemed a little skeptical of the Senate candidate, pressing him to talk about his “moral compass” and controversial views on slave reparations.
No softballs these, but most of my questions, many amassed from friends and co-workers, went unasked:
Dr. Keyes …
– Have you had coffee with Judy Barr Topinka lately? Key state Republicans have dismissed you out of hand. Are you aware that people are mocking you?
– This bar is full of young people who drank too much in college, smoked the occasional joint and continue to have lots of premarital sex with the most effective birth control they can find–behavior that you condemn. They’re also part of a highly prized swing constituency. Do you want their vote?
– Some might call your campaign selfish. Two twentysomething women I spoke with here tonight said your extreme views didn’t represent them. Is this kind of moral certainty appropriate in a political setting where compromise is the currency? Aren’t you supposed to be the people’s advocate?
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Not that he would have answered any of these or let me get past the first question.
I can imagine his aides escorting me to a cozy spot out on the sidewalk, although that’s really just my romantic journalistic notions running wild.
Although not nearly as wild, I imagine, as the outcome of an actual interview.
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