Fathers’ rights is one of those terms that pack more baggage than an overhead storage bin on an overbooked flight. But much of its lack of charm is that so many of the men involved are so angry.
The anger is understandable. People tend to get a little testy when they lose their children and homes. Such is the common lot of divorcing men even in these enlightened times.
It’s not a joke. One day you are a parent, counted on in ways beyond words, and the next day you are told where to send the check and when you can visit the people you feel more attachment to than anyone.
Even as an Illinois Supreme Court committee considers rules changes that could help the custody process, most judges seem steeled against the emotion of it all, as do most lawmakers.
“There’s not that much sympathy for men,” said state Rep. Paul Froehlich (R-Schaumburg), who nevertheless has some. He and a few other Illinois lawmakers are trying to develop legislation that would in some way give fatherhood more standing in the process of deciding child custody, something along the lines of shared parenting.
For the moment, we’ll have to leave the explanation of legislation vague, because the trial balloon floated by Froehlich and co-sponsor Richard P. Myers (R-Macomb) met with some technical resistance from colleagues on the Judiciary Committee.
Nevertheless, Froehlich and Myers said they want to take a careful, reasoned step toward a more balanced system while ensuring that judges are still free to act appropriately, especially to protect children.
Froehlich said he is hoping for public hearings on the subject this fall.
Both legislators should be commended for even considering a step into such sensitive territory, particularly in a state where movement in matrimonial law seems glacial, meaning slow, cold and hard.
Rep. John Bradley (D-Marion), a lawyer who has practiced family law, is helping to formulate legislation. “First and foremost is that in modifying the system,” he said, “we are keeping the best interest of the child at heart, with maximum involvement by both parents.”
Lawmakers visited the subject partly at the behest of Michael Burns, 37, a Chicago marketing professional. Burns said he became deeply involved in the subject after his former girlfriend left the state with their son, now 5, whom Burns has been unable to see in nearly a year. Burns’ reaction, other than to pursue traditional legal remedies, is to form Dialog on Sustainable Community.
He hopes the new organization will become a think tank and public interest group to promote the concept that our communities need all the responsible parents they can get.
“I think it really goes beyond an issue of gender,” he said. “It’s really become a societal issue. It’s of greater importance to the vitality of our communities. Children need both parents.”
Unlike the angry men referenced earlier, Burns remains soberly professional on the subject, adding that he can see where some women are getting a raw deal, too, in needlessly losing access to their children.
Most heartening in all this is that someone in authority finally is paying attention. The only question is whether these men will be ignored too.
Until his Web site is activated at www.sustainable-community.org, Burns can be reached via e-mail at sustainable(underscore)[email protected].
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Send e-mail for Ross Werland to [email protected]